Hello.. after a long hiatus since last year. Nearly a year. I didn't want to start off a new blog .. So, I'll just pick up where I left off.
2010 has really been interestingly challenging in a sweet bitter sour way, though I wouldn't mind all the recent good stuff that has been happening.
last year's story was a lot about AstroBoy, which was very complicated. I hadn't really resolve the situation as dainty as I would like but then again endings are not as romantic and easy realistically.
I've lived quite a fairytale last year... full of drama! sheesh.. lucky for me, that has ended.
I'm not gonna post a long one dis time as I've got another thing in mind. I will be writing my life again..
To AstroBoy a silent goodbye
if you're reading.....
I wish you good luck, happiness.
I forgave you a long time ago.
Live life.
it's just that, I don't want to have you in my life again.
Goodbye.
alright, with that done. I am very proud of myself that I've forgave and moved on and said my goodbyes.
sometimes, some people are not worth keeping, don't you think?
love,
aud.
Showing posts with label AstroBoy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label AstroBoy. Show all posts
Monday, September 13, 2010
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
When sweet turns into sour
"after every rain, there's sunshine at the end"...
mm.... they've failed to mention, after that awesome, bright, hot sunshine, there could be storm, hurricane, or even worst.
Why does happiness doesn't last forever? Why does fairytales seems just too bloody good to be true? Is it just so damn hard to find that bitter beginning but, sweet ending story? How I wish my life would sometime end like 'Notting hill' or 'sleepless in seattle' or 'when harry meets sally'?
that's why they say "those only happen in movies..." *sigh*
at times like these, I wish I have smart words, or clever phrases to depict my inner thoughts, yet I only have simple boring figure of speech. Yes, I'm no Sydney Shieldon or some marvelous writer. All I have, is me.
Why do people can be thicker than skin? Why does some, can't seem to realize what they've done hurt others, when it's so above surface than skin? shit. what Am i babbling?
Okay, So I've said things that I might or might not regret in the past hour, but should I really regret? hell No. Why not? hmm, I've gone through so much, without "you" knowing.
to you:
if only, we traded shoes, I could see what you see,
I could hear what you heared,
I could feel what you feel,
I could feel your pain.
for once, have you placed yourself in my shoe?
for once, has honesty been with us? to yourself? to me? to the world?
why?
coward-ness?
selfishness?
worthiness?
Yes, First impression lasts, but not for long,
for they say "don't judge a book just by it's freaking title..."
read the whole book, you'd know if the book is just worth keeping.
To you,
I'm sorry if my words tainted your colors,
never I meant, to kill the cat,
I've gave all I have, all my love,
for you throw it all away,
thank you, you've opened my eyes.
to a new brighter world, to a new chapter, to a new book.
Now, I won't just buy a book for it's cover, for it's title,
but for the stories, the book keeps.
A new person,
a new leaf
a new life,
a new year.
2010, I wait for you to come.
mm.... they've failed to mention, after that awesome, bright, hot sunshine, there could be storm, hurricane, or even worst.
Why does happiness doesn't last forever? Why does fairytales seems just too bloody good to be true? Is it just so damn hard to find that bitter beginning but, sweet ending story? How I wish my life would sometime end like 'Notting hill' or 'sleepless in seattle' or 'when harry meets sally'?
that's why they say "those only happen in movies..." *sigh*
at times like these, I wish I have smart words, or clever phrases to depict my inner thoughts, yet I only have simple boring figure of speech. Yes, I'm no Sydney Shieldon or some marvelous writer. All I have, is me.
Why do people can be thicker than skin? Why does some, can't seem to realize what they've done hurt others, when it's so above surface than skin? shit. what Am i babbling?
Okay, So I've said things that I might or might not regret in the past hour, but should I really regret? hell No. Why not? hmm, I've gone through so much, without "you" knowing.
to you:
if only, we traded shoes, I could see what you see,
I could hear what you heared,
I could feel what you feel,
I could feel your pain.
for once, have you placed yourself in my shoe?
for once, has honesty been with us? to yourself? to me? to the world?
why?
coward-ness?
selfishness?
worthiness?
Yes, First impression lasts, but not for long,
for they say "don't judge a book just by it's freaking title..."
read the whole book, you'd know if the book is just worth keeping.
To you,
I'm sorry if my words tainted your colors,
never I meant, to kill the cat,
I've gave all I have, all my love,
for you throw it all away,
thank you, you've opened my eyes.
to a new brighter world, to a new chapter, to a new book.
Now, I won't just buy a book for it's cover, for it's title,
but for the stories, the book keeps.
A new person,
a new leaf
a new life,
a new year.
2010, I wait for you to come.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Life in gray
“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”
I'm feeling kinda blue today, for no apparent reasons.
I've gone through so much this year. My biggest question still remain unanswered, but I'll stop asking and just pick myself up when all this has ended. I'm not looking forward for it, but I'm letting myself love as much as I could, and stop when it's time to.
It's hard for me to understand or explain the situation. Love just moves you in a mysterious way. You wouldn't know when it sinked into you, and the next thing you know, you can't stop.
mm... probably when skies are clearer and birds sing at my window pane, I'll write good things. till then... let it be gray.
the one with a braveface
audrey.
I'm feeling kinda blue today, for no apparent reasons.
I've gone through so much this year. My biggest question still remain unanswered, but I'll stop asking and just pick myself up when all this has ended. I'm not looking forward for it, but I'm letting myself love as much as I could, and stop when it's time to.
It's hard for me to understand or explain the situation. Love just moves you in a mysterious way. You wouldn't know when it sinked into you, and the next thing you know, you can't stop.
mm... probably when skies are clearer and birds sing at my window pane, I'll write good things. till then... let it be gray.
the one with a braveface
audrey.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
August 18: My Last Words, My Last Love, A Letter To You
From the words of my lady,
“what am I to you?, tell me darling true”
I’ve been sitting for days now thinking of the right thing to say. Over and over I listen to Norah trying to find some consolation to the questions playing repeatedly in my head. I’ve never been a person who has flair for words to put matters across to people, emotionally that is.
Little did I know what started over a night of a hasty decision, turned into something I couldn’t explain. Maybe, for once I’m trying to tell you. Perhaps.
“When I look into your eyes,
I could feel butterflies...”
I blindly entered a battle of war of truth and lies, existence and love. Why did I? Why did you? Was it the butterflies?
I’m torn between 2 worlds. One world tells me that it is wrong for me to be around you. The other kept assuring me it wasn’t. In both, I lost. Contemplating over this, it made me question myself, Why You? Was it your perfume? Was it the sound of your voice? Was it your touch? I hated the emotions. Which emotions? Hatred? Guilt? Satisfaction? Happy? Or love?
“Opened up my heart
Never want to part
I'm giving you the ball”
I constantly reminded myself, “no commitments, no strings attach”. Bullshit I say.
A dance wouldn’t be a dance, when only 1 dances.
A clap won’t sound, if one tries with just one hand.
A match won’t be one with one team playing.
Why this long?
I’ve smiled, I’ve laughed, I’ve listened, I’ve cried, I’ve had sleepless nights, I’ve hurt, I’ve cared, I’ve done more than “no strings attached, No commitments”.
We’ve sung, we’ve danced, we’ve held hands, we’ve kissed, we’ve had long nights, we’ve argued, we’ve shared, we’ve talked, Tell me, is it really “no strings attached? No commitments?”
What is real between us? I’m “non-existence”. Remember?
All it was, was just a “blip”.
All honesty, all truth fades in this world we’ve created.
What do you expect me to feel after 6 months? Hate? Like? Non-existence feelings?
I’m still just a person made of clay.
Both just alike in many ways, different in many ways.
“See I cry if you hurt
I'd give you my last shirt
Because I love you so”
“I love You”.... 3 little words, yet tremendous effect on one. We’ve uttered them, yet, it’s meaning? Empty.
I shy away from the truth of my existence, because I don’t deserve to. Neither you.
For the last time, I’ll say these to you, I love you.
I’m a changed person because of me, not you.
I want to change, because I want to, not for you.
I deserve to be happy, because of me. Not you.
At the end of the battle, I’ll turn my back, and see myself right to the door. I’ve got nothing to lose, because I survived. I survived the pain. I survived the heartache. I’ll go .We’ve parted ways, and let it be there.
Non-existence world we created,
Leaving behind the memories we dreamed,
Between you and me,
Let the love fade,
For now or never, if love prevails
Forever it stays.
To you,
I leave this question to you, ask deep within yourself, let all honesty, all truth within u answer.
What am I to You?
Yours truly,
xoxo
audreythe fragile heart
“what am I to you?, tell me darling true”
I’ve been sitting for days now thinking of the right thing to say. Over and over I listen to Norah trying to find some consolation to the questions playing repeatedly in my head. I’ve never been a person who has flair for words to put matters across to people, emotionally that is.
Little did I know what started over a night of a hasty decision, turned into something I couldn’t explain. Maybe, for once I’m trying to tell you. Perhaps.
“When I look into your eyes,
I could feel butterflies...”
I blindly entered a battle of war of truth and lies, existence and love. Why did I? Why did you? Was it the butterflies?
I’m torn between 2 worlds. One world tells me that it is wrong for me to be around you. The other kept assuring me it wasn’t. In both, I lost. Contemplating over this, it made me question myself, Why You? Was it your perfume? Was it the sound of your voice? Was it your touch? I hated the emotions. Which emotions? Hatred? Guilt? Satisfaction? Happy? Or love?
“Opened up my heart
Never want to part
I'm giving you the ball”
I constantly reminded myself, “no commitments, no strings attach”. Bullshit I say.
A dance wouldn’t be a dance, when only 1 dances.
A clap won’t sound, if one tries with just one hand.
A match won’t be one with one team playing.
Why this long?
I’ve smiled, I’ve laughed, I’ve listened, I’ve cried, I’ve had sleepless nights, I’ve hurt, I’ve cared, I’ve done more than “no strings attached, No commitments”.
We’ve sung, we’ve danced, we’ve held hands, we’ve kissed, we’ve had long nights, we’ve argued, we’ve shared, we’ve talked, Tell me, is it really “no strings attached? No commitments?”
What is real between us? I’m “non-existence”. Remember?
All it was, was just a “blip”.
All honesty, all truth fades in this world we’ve created.
What do you expect me to feel after 6 months? Hate? Like? Non-existence feelings?
I’m still just a person made of clay.
Both just alike in many ways, different in many ways.
“See I cry if you hurt
I'd give you my last shirt
Because I love you so”
“I love You”.... 3 little words, yet tremendous effect on one. We’ve uttered them, yet, it’s meaning? Empty.
I shy away from the truth of my existence, because I don’t deserve to. Neither you.
For the last time, I’ll say these to you, I love you.
I’m a changed person because of me, not you.
I want to change, because I want to, not for you.
I deserve to be happy, because of me. Not you.
At the end of the battle, I’ll turn my back, and see myself right to the door. I’ve got nothing to lose, because I survived. I survived the pain. I survived the heartache. I’ll go .We’ve parted ways, and let it be there.
Non-existence world we created,
Leaving behind the memories we dreamed,
Between you and me,
Let the love fade,
For now or never, if love prevails
Forever it stays.
To you,
I leave this question to you, ask deep within yourself, let all honesty, all truth within u answer.
What am I to You?
Yours truly,
xoxo
audreythe fragile heart
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Movie Marathon: Drag me To Hell & G. I. Joe
I had my first movie marathon for 2009, and also my first here in Sandakan. Yes ladies & gentleman, behold the truth, SANDAKAN has a cinema! Believe it or not, BELIEVE IT.
*exaggerating*
Usually I finish work @ 6.00pm. I'll reach my bachelorette pad at 6.10pm. Home is just 5 min away. (shweet aye?)... Was suppose to go for gym, but since I didn't charged up my mp3 player, so, I found the right excuse for me to skip gym. With that said, I couldn't resist the movie marathon date Astroboy proposed either. SO.... movie marathon it was, Drag me To hell & G. I Joe.
my reviews (like the rain cared...duh.)
Drag me to hell
Funnily, I hardly could remember how the movie starts (that bad?... yeap.)
Bad story cut short, Drag Me To Hell had the right sound effects, but bad acting plus weird kinda story line eventually dragged me to hell with it. Basically it's a voodoo shit story. If you're into stories about bomohs and whatever you call them, then I guess you'd be intrigued by it. If you're not then don't waste your Rm10 (you could get a bigMac).
The sound effects and the face of the creepy old witch looking women were good. I had a jump, so did Astroboy (lol). Imagine, How on earth could a mean medium or evil shit can be called a LAMIA? For crying out loud.... it would be better called Labia!!!. LOL. KIDDING. And, the worse part, that evil called Lamia is suppose to be an evil soul eater is portrayed as A GOAT?!! WTF? A GOAT!!! (but the goat was pretty creepy...) I think the director (plus the actors) were high on weed or hadn't got themselves laid. A GOAT bah! sheesh. The other part that I didn't get was, 20 minutes of the movie was about the lady trying to get rid of a BUTTON!!! shit. Maybe you should go and watch this movie, to witness its stupidity.
But, had a good laugh and few shockers. Out of 5 stars, I'll give it a 1.5 star. I've seen other stupid movies to top this one off.
G.I. Joe.
The movie that most boys has been waiting for.
I'll give it a 5 star for effects and the fighting scenes. Really impressed. Really seemed real, to me at least.
Choice of actors were good. Biased here though, due to Channing Tatum... (yummy...)
mm.... what else can I say, prolly I was expecting it to be anything less than dull. Due to initial expectations, I find it to be a bit er..... so-so. Not boring, but.... nothing great either. Unlike transformers. Guess I'm just not a fan.
Overall, not a bad choice.. RM10 was worth it.
Out of 5, I'll give it a 3.5... :)
There you go, my first reviews of movies.
What say you?
signing off,
aud the movie goer..
xoxo
*exaggerating*
Usually I finish work @ 6.00pm. I'll reach my bachelorette pad at 6.10pm. Home is just 5 min away. (shweet aye?)... Was suppose to go for gym, but since I didn't charged up my mp3 player, so, I found the right excuse for me to skip gym. With that said, I couldn't resist the movie marathon date Astroboy proposed either. SO.... movie marathon it was, Drag me To hell & G. I Joe.
my reviews (like the rain cared...duh.)
Drag me to hell
Funnily, I hardly could remember how the movie starts (that bad?... yeap.)
Bad story cut short, Drag Me To Hell had the right sound effects, but bad acting plus weird kinda story line eventually dragged me to hell with it. Basically it's a voodoo shit story. If you're into stories about bomohs and whatever you call them, then I guess you'd be intrigued by it. If you're not then don't waste your Rm10 (you could get a bigMac).
The sound effects and the face of the creepy old witch looking women were good. I had a jump, so did Astroboy (lol). Imagine, How on earth could a mean medium or evil shit can be called a LAMIA? For crying out loud.... it would be better called Labia!!!. LOL. KIDDING. And, the worse part, that evil called Lamia is suppose to be an evil soul eater is portrayed as A GOAT?!! WTF? A GOAT!!! (but the goat was pretty creepy...) I think the director (plus the actors) were high on weed or hadn't got themselves laid. A GOAT bah! sheesh. The other part that I didn't get was, 20 minutes of the movie was about the lady trying to get rid of a BUTTON!!! shit. Maybe you should go and watch this movie, to witness its stupidity.
But, had a good laugh and few shockers. Out of 5 stars, I'll give it a 1.5 star. I've seen other stupid movies to top this one off.
G.I. Joe.
The movie that most boys has been waiting for.
I'll give it a 5 star for effects and the fighting scenes. Really impressed. Really seemed real, to me at least.
Choice of actors were good. Biased here though, due to Channing Tatum... (yummy...)
mm.... what else can I say, prolly I was expecting it to be anything less than dull. Due to initial expectations, I find it to be a bit er..... so-so. Not boring, but.... nothing great either. Unlike transformers. Guess I'm just not a fan.
Overall, not a bad choice.. RM10 was worth it.
Out of 5, I'll give it a 3.5... :)
There you go, my first reviews of movies.
What say you?
signing off,
aud the movie goer..
xoxo
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Little words, Big Meaning
It's been long 3 months since my last post. Pass recent months' events has been crazy, whimsical, and a rollercoaster!
It's weird when you think you're missing out on things, when actually it's really how u perceive the situation. So much had happen since the existence of Astroboy in my once gray life. People come and go in life. I believe each encounter has its meaning. Be it a person to change your views, be that person u just hate his guts or ego, a bitch that has a way of getting what she wants, be a friend... be a boyfriend, a husband... and the list goes. I'm still at a point at figuring "what is the meaning of this whole frenzy fiasco meeting?"
*rolling eyes*
It's mentally challenging my desire to stay above the pressure of finding the normality of the situation. A constant inner voice keeps reminding me "stop whatever you're doing".... yet, I still find myself crawling back to the dumpshit over and over again.
It's addicting.
I didn't post anything lately cause I had nothing to write but lousy stories about how lame my life currently is, except that it's a rollercoaster. ironic?
the lucky one,
aud
xoxo
It's weird when you think you're missing out on things, when actually it's really how u perceive the situation. So much had happen since the existence of Astroboy in my once gray life. People come and go in life. I believe each encounter has its meaning. Be it a person to change your views, be that person u just hate his guts or ego, a bitch that has a way of getting what she wants, be a friend... be a boyfriend, a husband... and the list goes. I'm still at a point at figuring "what is the meaning of this whole frenzy fiasco meeting?"
*rolling eyes*
It's mentally challenging my desire to stay above the pressure of finding the normality of the situation. A constant inner voice keeps reminding me "stop whatever you're doing".... yet, I still find myself crawling back to the dumpshit over and over again.
It's addicting.
I didn't post anything lately cause I had nothing to write but lousy stories about how lame my life currently is, except that it's a rollercoaster. ironic?
the lucky one,
aud
xoxo
Monday, May 25, 2009
A Song For You
I know I haven't been writing anything lately. I blame it on procrastination, lost for smart words and ideas, and hi-rising level of laziness. To be fair though, I actually had a saved-needed-to-be edited post before this one. But..... never got the time. (yea.. rite) Oh well, I'm gonna make it up with this post. It's gonna be a good one... promise (pergh.. perasan tahap dewa).
I've always loved singing for as long as I can remember. Sadly, I'm not much of a singer to be honest. Music has played a very big part in my life. Through every chapter of my life, through good and bad, laughter and tears, heartaches and break-ups. I must say, there's always a song for every mood I am in.
To me, every song has its story. Especially when it reminds you of a person. A song can be a place where you keep memories of you and someone. No matter near or far, in hatred or in love, you always have that person in mind when you listen to that "song". It brings back old memories, stories you've shared, jokes you've laughed, moments you wish you could have once again. So, a "SONG" is the place where you get to meet that "someone" again. (well, to me at least)
Recently, a chapter in my life began knowingly which somehow ended without me realizing it. I guess, things just happens in a way I can't understand what God is planning for me. No matter what it is, I'll just take the cruise HE is giving me.
Putting everything together (this is the good part.... hohoho)
I wrote a lil' song, for a person, because of a person.
Hopefully, everytime I listen back to this song, it'll remind me of that person.
this is a sad song to start of with,
to AstroBoy (you know who u r)
A story of dreams,
that wasn't mine to hold, to start.
to a love that had no truth, no existence
to an emotion that had no pride.
because of you.
I wish you love and bid you goodbye
I wrote this song because of you
May I'll see you in this song.
in summer, winter, autumn n spring.
Because of You.
song and lyrics by Audrey
I love the way you look at me
i get so weak on my knees
because
i get butterflies when u r around
i get tingles in my heart now
but its all because of you
because of you
i like to hear you say "i missed you"
i look away so shy my boo
because I get butterflies when u r around
i get tingles in my heart now
but it's all because of you
because of you..
you wrap ur fingers around mine
i want to hold it all the time
because you give me butterflies when u r around
i get tingles in my heart now
but it's all because of you
because of you..
you wonder why
oh why this lullaby plays on and on my love
I've nothing much to say,
then to tell you
it's all because of you
To all, I'm just gonna post the lyrics for now. I don't think I've got the guts to post the song here till I think I couldn't care less what the people think of the song n my singing. The song is nothing great really, but... it's mine. One day perhaps...
Till fingers meet keyboard,
xoxo,
Aud,
I've always loved singing for as long as I can remember. Sadly, I'm not much of a singer to be honest. Music has played a very big part in my life. Through every chapter of my life, through good and bad, laughter and tears, heartaches and break-ups. I must say, there's always a song for every mood I am in.
To me, every song has its story. Especially when it reminds you of a person. A song can be a place where you keep memories of you and someone. No matter near or far, in hatred or in love, you always have that person in mind when you listen to that "song". It brings back old memories, stories you've shared, jokes you've laughed, moments you wish you could have once again. So, a "SONG" is the place where you get to meet that "someone" again. (well, to me at least)
Recently, a chapter in my life began knowingly which somehow ended without me realizing it. I guess, things just happens in a way I can't understand what God is planning for me. No matter what it is, I'll just take the cruise HE is giving me.
Putting everything together (this is the good part.... hohoho)
I wrote a lil' song, for a person, because of a person.
Hopefully, everytime I listen back to this song, it'll remind me of that person.
this is a sad song to start of with,
to AstroBoy (you know who u r)
A story of dreams,
that wasn't mine to hold, to start.
to a love that had no truth, no existence
to an emotion that had no pride.
because of you.
I wish you love and bid you goodbye
I wrote this song because of you
May I'll see you in this song.
in summer, winter, autumn n spring.
Because of You.
song and lyrics by Audrey
I love the way you look at me
i get so weak on my knees
because
i get butterflies when u r around
i get tingles in my heart now
but its all because of you
because of you
i like to hear you say "i missed you"
i look away so shy my boo
because I get butterflies when u r around
i get tingles in my heart now
but it's all because of you
because of you..
you wrap ur fingers around mine
i want to hold it all the time
because you give me butterflies when u r around
i get tingles in my heart now
but it's all because of you
because of you..
you wonder why
oh why this lullaby plays on and on my love
I've nothing much to say,
then to tell you
it's all because of you
To all, I'm just gonna post the lyrics for now. I don't think I've got the guts to post the song here till I think I couldn't care less what the people think of the song n my singing. The song is nothing great really, but... it's mine. One day perhaps...
Till fingers meet keyboard,
xoxo,
Aud,
Monday, April 27, 2009
Love Factor - Right Person, Wrong Timing.
It's a quiet and warm night. (i miss the rain...)
While my fingers are pinned to the keys of the lappy, I let my brains run wild with ideas to write tonight. Yet, I'm still hopelessly trying to find the right things to write and end up crapping.
Honestly, I don't want this cyberworld I have here to be just a place for me to crap most of the time. (I think the weather is making me go a bit blue tonight).
After a quiet, an alone "me" time dindin, I find myself mulling over things that had happen these past few months.
"why?", "what?", "when?", "how?","who?"
The "WH" questions keeps playing repeatedly in my head like a broken tape player.
Can just someone stop it already?
Then.. I remembered, a conversation I had not long ago with a girlfriend..
"where have all the good guys gone to?"
"They're either taken"
"or... Married".....(long pause, with a snort, and a "duh!" look)
"or.. GAY"
true? perhaps.
Though my belief in the "Right Guy" or in some other terms and context "The One" exist for every girl may have fade over the years after meeting the bunch of mens I've bumped into, but, I do still believe it exist..(yes girls... you may call me foolish for saying that).
Some people have the privilege to date each other and stay in love for so long and only marry after years of dating since high school. Some were high school sweethearts, dated for so long only to realize they weren't right together and parted ways. Others, only took a year, or just months to know "he/she is THE ONE". In Hollywood, takes minutes to get hitched and only realize 24hrs after they're married, they were actually wrong for each other. (bizarred?)
I'm sure you've been in a situation where you've met this new person, and came to know his/her attitude and personality after sometime, and....before you know it, you've started to have that "itchy likey" feeling towards that person. It started with cute, interesting, naive shorts texts (the fishing game I call it), short phone calls, meeting up for a drink in a group...evolved to texting continuously (smiling while reading and replying those texts), more than 3 times a day phone calls (with small laughs that irritates others), meeting up for dinner and finding every reason to meet.
It leaves you with a gluey, warm, happy feeling doesn't it? (it makes your heart go "aaaahh.. or Mmmm... and awww....)
Then this situation goes to a state where you say, "bummer!"...
He has a taken or attached or married or gay or "it's complicated" status! (bummer!)
This goes back to my earlier WH questions which are still madly playing at the back of my head while I'm writing this.
Why You? Why Now? Why not before this? How could I? What am I feeling? When is it ending? How is it gonna be? Why did I meet you?
Who is Us?
What is Us?
then.. it evolved to my "What If" questions.
I answered, all my questions with...
"it was never mine from the beginning"
"It never was mine to start off, never could be, never will be."
He's the "right guy" because of the person he is. The way we are when we're together. The way our mind thinks (though it may not be alike and we misunderstand each other most of the time). Our differences and imperfections are just right. (probably I could be just exaggerating the whole situation). Our likings are just perfect.
We score A+ in Chemistry.
and yet, wrong timing.
why?
till fingers meet keyboards,
signin' off...
audrey
xoxo
While my fingers are pinned to the keys of the lappy, I let my brains run wild with ideas to write tonight. Yet, I'm still hopelessly trying to find the right things to write and end up crapping.
Honestly, I don't want this cyberworld I have here to be just a place for me to crap most of the time. (I think the weather is making me go a bit blue tonight).
After a quiet, an alone "me" time dindin, I find myself mulling over things that had happen these past few months.
"why?", "what?", "when?", "how?","who?"
The "WH" questions keeps playing repeatedly in my head like a broken tape player.
Can just someone stop it already?
Then.. I remembered, a conversation I had not long ago with a girlfriend..
"where have all the good guys gone to?"
"They're either taken"
"or... Married".....(long pause, with a snort, and a "duh!" look)
"or.. GAY"
true? perhaps.
Though my belief in the "Right Guy" or in some other terms and context "The One" exist for every girl may have fade over the years after meeting the bunch of mens I've bumped into, but, I do still believe it exist..(yes girls... you may call me foolish for saying that).
Some people have the privilege to date each other and stay in love for so long and only marry after years of dating since high school. Some were high school sweethearts, dated for so long only to realize they weren't right together and parted ways. Others, only took a year, or just months to know "he/she is THE ONE". In Hollywood, takes minutes to get hitched and only realize 24hrs after they're married, they were actually wrong for each other. (bizarred?)
I'm sure you've been in a situation where you've met this new person, and came to know his/her attitude and personality after sometime, and....before you know it, you've started to have that "itchy likey" feeling towards that person. It started with cute, interesting, naive shorts texts (the fishing game I call it), short phone calls, meeting up for a drink in a group...evolved to texting continuously (smiling while reading and replying those texts), more than 3 times a day phone calls (with small laughs that irritates others), meeting up for dinner and finding every reason to meet.
It leaves you with a gluey, warm, happy feeling doesn't it? (it makes your heart go "aaaahh.. or Mmmm... and awww....)
Then this situation goes to a state where you say, "bummer!"...
He has a taken or attached or married or gay or "it's complicated" status! (bummer!)
This goes back to my earlier WH questions which are still madly playing at the back of my head while I'm writing this.
Why You? Why Now? Why not before this? How could I? What am I feeling? When is it ending? How is it gonna be? Why did I meet you?
Who is Us?
What is Us?
then.. it evolved to my "What If" questions.
I answered, all my questions with...
"it was never mine from the beginning"
"It never was mine to start off, never could be, never will be."
He's the "right guy" because of the person he is. The way we are when we're together. The way our mind thinks (though it may not be alike and we misunderstand each other most of the time). Our differences and imperfections are just right. (probably I could be just exaggerating the whole situation). Our likings are just perfect.
We score A+ in Chemistry.
and yet, wrong timing.
why?
till fingers meet keyboards,
signin' off...
audrey
xoxo
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
My 10 Things About AstroBoy
*clears throat*
We meet new people every now and then. For myself, I believe, every new person I meet has its reasons and purposes - perhaps to like; to fall in love with; to learn something; to teach something; to get heartbroken and the list goes on. I don't know if any of you get my point here. Because, to some, meeting a new person is like a "touch n go" purposes.
So! (smiles) You've FINALLY met a new person. It may have started out with the boring regular exchanges of hellos, then would probably be hanging out several time, business meetings, then could lead to clubbing or breakfasting,lunching, dinnering and yada yada yada.... (you DO get my point right?).
Well, this new person that you've met will then MIGHT lead to something else. (in a bigger deeper way. LoL) To be a person that you may hate, like, love, married to, fling with, or simply, be just the best friend you'd ever had.
So, my dear readers, this is an introduction of a new character in my current phase of life, this "new character" may continue to exist in my upcoming posts. I Repeat, THAT MAY (and may only) exist in my upcoming posts.
AstroBoy is a new person I've came to know and this is my 10 things about AstroBoy.
10 things about AstroBoy
1. Humble. (Sometimes, too down to earth)
2. Has "foot in mouth" disease. (Luckily, it's not chronic or contagious).
3. Tall (For an Asian)
4. Funny (to me at least)
5. A Thinker (Thinks too much for own good)
6. Career + Family minded = personal sacrifices. (I admire)
7. Needs more calories (Ur still SEXY to me... though, I don't mind giving some of mine...)
8. Fun (same wavelength, gets my sarcasm and stupid jokes).
9. Intelligent. (sharp thinker, has a mind of his own)
10. Determine (I find it inspiring and sexy!)
Enlightened?
So, what's your say about meeting a new person?
Hmm... ?
till fingers meet keyboard,
keeping you posted from afar..
audrey
xoxo
Warning:
This introduction may and may not lead to any existence to my upcoming posts.
We meet new people every now and then. For myself, I believe, every new person I meet has its reasons and purposes - perhaps to like; to fall in love with; to learn something; to teach something; to get heartbroken and the list goes on. I don't know if any of you get my point here. Because, to some, meeting a new person is like a "touch n go" purposes.
So! (smiles) You've FINALLY met a new person. It may have started out with the boring regular exchanges of hellos, then would probably be hanging out several time, business meetings, then could lead to clubbing or breakfasting,lunching, dinnering and yada yada yada.... (you DO get my point right?).
Well, this new person that you've met will then MIGHT lead to something else. (in a bigger deeper way. LoL) To be a person that you may hate, like, love, married to, fling with, or simply, be just the best friend you'd ever had.
So, my dear readers, this is an introduction of a new character in my current phase of life, this "new character" may continue to exist in my upcoming posts. I Repeat, THAT MAY (and may only) exist in my upcoming posts.
AstroBoy is a new person I've came to know and this is my 10 things about AstroBoy.
10 things about AstroBoy
1. Humble. (Sometimes, too down to earth)
2. Has "foot in mouth" disease. (Luckily, it's not chronic or contagious).
3. Tall (For an Asian)
4. Funny (to me at least)
5. A Thinker (Thinks too much for own good)
6. Career + Family minded = personal sacrifices. (I admire)
7. Needs more calories (Ur still SEXY to me... though, I don't mind giving some of mine...)
8. Fun (same wavelength, gets my sarcasm and stupid jokes).
9. Intelligent. (sharp thinker, has a mind of his own)
10. Determine (I find it inspiring and sexy!)
Enlightened?
So, what's your say about meeting a new person?
Hmm... ?
till fingers meet keyboard,
keeping you posted from afar..
audrey
xoxo
Warning:
This introduction may and may not lead to any existence to my upcoming posts.
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