Love Factor - Right Person, Wrong Timing.

It's a quiet and warm night. (i miss the rain...)

While my fingers are pinned to the keys of the lappy, I let my brains run wild with ideas to write tonight. Yet, I'm still hopelessly trying to find the right things to write and end up crapping.

Honestly, I don't want this cyberworld I have here to be just a place for me to crap most of the time. (I think the weather is making me go a bit blue tonight).

After a quiet, an alone "me" time dindin, I find myself mulling over things that had happen these past few months.

"why?", "what?", "when?", "how?","who?"

The "WH" questions keeps playing repeatedly in my head like a broken tape player.
Can just someone stop it already?

Then.. I remembered, a conversation I had not long ago with a girlfriend..

"where have all the good guys gone to?"
"They're either taken"
"or... Married".....(long pause, with a snort, and a "duh!" look)
"or.. GAY"

true? perhaps.

Though my belief in the "Right Guy" or in some other terms and context "The One" exist for every girl may have fade over the years after meeting the bunch of mens I've bumped into, but, I do still believe it exist..(yes girls... you may call me foolish for saying that).

Some people have the privilege to date each other and stay in love for so long and only marry after years of dating since high school. Some were high school sweethearts, dated for so long only to realize they weren't right together and parted ways. Others, only took a year, or just months to know "he/she is THE ONE". In Hollywood, takes minutes to get hitched and only realize 24hrs after they're married, they were actually wrong for each other. (bizarred?)

I'm sure you've been in a situation where you've met this new person, and came to know his/her attitude and personality after sometime, and....before you know it, you've started to have that "itchy likey" feeling towards that person. It started with cute, interesting, naive shorts texts (the fishing game I call it), short phone calls, meeting up for a drink in a group...evolved to texting continuously (smiling while reading and replying those texts), more than 3 times a day phone calls (with small laughs that irritates others), meeting up for dinner and finding every reason to meet.

It leaves you with a gluey, warm, happy feeling doesn't it? (it makes your heart go "aaaahh.. or Mmmm... and awww....)

Then this situation goes to a state where you say, "bummer!"...

He has a taken or attached or married or gay or "it's complicated" status! (bummer!)

This goes back to my earlier WH questions which are still madly playing at the back of my head while I'm writing this.

Why You? Why Now? Why not before this? How could I? What am I feeling? When is it ending? How is it gonna be? Why did I meet you?
Who is Us?
What is Us?

then.. it evolved to my "What If" questions.

I answered, all my questions with...

"it was never mine from the beginning"
"It never was mine to start off, never could be, never will be."

He's the "right guy" because of the person he is. The way we are when we're together. The way our mind thinks (though it may not be alike and we misunderstand each other most of the time). Our differences and imperfections are just right. (probably I could be just exaggerating the whole situation). Our likings are just perfect.

We score A+ in Chemistry.

and yet, wrong timing.

why?


till fingers meet keyboards,
signin' off...
audrey
xoxo