It's weird not having my lappy with me. I feel awfully disconnected from the world. I miss my lappy. It seems that it's gonna be at the service centre for 2 weeks... argh!!! I'm on the verge of really buying a new lappy, yet....I don't want to be financially distress
I'm back in KK and home gives me a peaceful and safe environment. I love that feeling, something that I've been searching hi and low in Sandakan. No matter how family can be annoying at times, and yet, family can be your greatest fort. Although I've got a small one, yet.... I'm glad it's mine.
The time that I've been keeping myself away, the feelings that I've tried to escape is here to come. It's fuckin' hard to accept reality. In the end, I have to. How longer can this heart take the pain? I've promised, and I'll keep that promise I made 6 months ago.
to you,
this love is the greatest love, cause it need all the love in the world to do.
I'll sacrifice this feeling and let it fade, with hope I'll find it back.
let I shed the tears, not you and her nor them.
be happy and merry,
I wish you happiness and love.
tears of the broken wings,
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Disconnected From The World
Here I am sitting in front of my colleague's lappy. WHY? Because mine went bazooka! I #%&!@ wth??? why why why why????????
well, this is gonna be short.... I'll be away for some time till I get my lappy fixed, OR a new one.... (dang!).... :(
life is already gloomy as it is, thanks to my lappy, it's gonna be worst!!
will it ever end?
till fingers meet keyboard,
audrey
well, this is gonna be short.... I'll be away for some time till I get my lappy fixed, OR a new one.... (dang!).... :(
life is already gloomy as it is, thanks to my lappy, it's gonna be worst!!
will it ever end?
till fingers meet keyboard,
audrey
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
screaming lady
I hate when this happens....
My sleeping problems are back! damn.
I don't know why the hell can't I just sleep early and have a good night rest. Now it's getting really terrible. I sleep at 5am and wake up at 11am to go to work. I don't know what is happening to me. mm.... sigh. I need to get myself fix. soon.
another odd thing is, it's been three nights I've been recurring dreams - a woman shouting at me. shit. I'm not the type of person who dreams a lot, but lately, I've been getting a lot of them, at one point, I dreamed about myself at a feast, with lots of food. funny.
here I am at 1.07am, woken by silly dogs yacking in the mid of nite.. terrible.
the one deprived of sleep,
xoxo
audrey
My sleeping problems are back! damn.
I don't know why the hell can't I just sleep early and have a good night rest. Now it's getting really terrible. I sleep at 5am and wake up at 11am to go to work. I don't know what is happening to me. mm.... sigh. I need to get myself fix. soon.
another odd thing is, it's been three nights I've been recurring dreams - a woman shouting at me. shit. I'm not the type of person who dreams a lot, but lately, I've been getting a lot of them, at one point, I dreamed about myself at a feast, with lots of food. funny.
here I am at 1.07am, woken by silly dogs yacking in the mid of nite.. terrible.
the one deprived of sleep,
xoxo
audrey
Monday, September 7, 2009
Life in gray
“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”
I'm feeling kinda blue today, for no apparent reasons.
I've gone through so much this year. My biggest question still remain unanswered, but I'll stop asking and just pick myself up when all this has ended. I'm not looking forward for it, but I'm letting myself love as much as I could, and stop when it's time to.
It's hard for me to understand or explain the situation. Love just moves you in a mysterious way. You wouldn't know when it sinked into you, and the next thing you know, you can't stop.
mm... probably when skies are clearer and birds sing at my window pane, I'll write good things. till then... let it be gray.
the one with a braveface
audrey.
I'm feeling kinda blue today, for no apparent reasons.
I've gone through so much this year. My biggest question still remain unanswered, but I'll stop asking and just pick myself up when all this has ended. I'm not looking forward for it, but I'm letting myself love as much as I could, and stop when it's time to.
It's hard for me to understand or explain the situation. Love just moves you in a mysterious way. You wouldn't know when it sinked into you, and the next thing you know, you can't stop.
mm... probably when skies are clearer and birds sing at my window pane, I'll write good things. till then... let it be gray.
the one with a braveface
audrey.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Marriage v/s Single
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always
with the same person.”... Mignon McLaughin
A few months ago, I read about the nation’s declining rate of birth and somehow it made me ponder on few things. I think, most of my highschool friends are married, and are at least with 1 baby. However, I’m happy to say, I still got tons of friends that aren’t married (haha). Oh! And the number is not declining at an alarming rate (I meant friends that aren’t married).
Why is the nation’s birth rate is declining?
Well, one thing for sure, it’s hard to find families that has more than 6 children these days. Unlike our parents or grandparents era who has like 10 - 12 siblings. Let’s just put it more than 6. Shall we?
1. The 22nd century makes it expensive to have more than 6 children! Taxes, fuel, wet & dry food are expensive. I don’t think you can buy any decent food with just RM3.00 at any big cities in M’sia. Thankfully, I’m glad to say, I can still find good Rm3.00 nasi campur in Sandakan. I’m blessed!!
2. More than 6 children spells CHAOS.
3. Women are getting smarter by the day.
4. MOST IMPORTANTLY..... single population is increasing.
I’m not gonna carry on discussing about nation’s birth rate since I’m not married (yet). I’d like to have a say on my topic today. Marriage v/s Single.
There’s been countless battle on the issue Marriage or Single, which is better and so on.
For me, marriage is sacred. It’s not easy, but at the same time, it’s not suppose to be hell. I remembered someone told me,
“marriage is a job. You need to work for it, to make it work”
People spend roughly RM20K to get married, yet, it only probably takes RM100 to get divorced.
People get married to fornicate and make babies, and later craps about it, and make statements like “how i wish I’m still single” at one point of their later life or say “I never get to buy anything for myself anymore!”... (duh!)
Colleagues and family friends come up to me and say, “Audrey, you’re at a marriageable age already. Bah, bila lagi?” omaigat! Is it so wrong that I’m still single? Is it wrong to be single? What? Now I’m an alien just because I’m still single? Rofl.
Being unmarried, I don’t really know what or how marriage is suppose to be. But, I’d say marriage needs understanding, commitment, sacrifices, tolerance, and Love.
Love alone does not suffice.
Have you ever wonder, some couples dated so long just to find out in the end they don’t want to spend their lives together. Some couple, takes less than a year and boom boom pow, they’re married and few years later, they get divorced. But for some, it’s just meant to be. I call them the lucky ones.
While typing this, it makes me wanna write on. “is there really Mr/Ms. Right.”
Some women/men dread about being single. Why should you? What’s so bad about being single?
Think about it. When you’re single .....
1. You do not have to report duty to anybody called “husband”. Or in a guy case, your WIFE.
2. No calls after 9pm asking where you are, who you’re with, what you’re doing etc etc. (for both men and women)
3. You do not have to wash extra clothes other than yours alone.(for women)
4. No unwanted clothes lying on the floor (for women)
5. No disgusting pee spill all over the toilet bowl (for women)
6. You can earn extra cash when you’re single. Be smart. (for both men and women)
7. Able to shop and pamper yourself. (for both men and women)
8. You can go wherever you want to without worry. At least not about family that is... probably financially only. (for both men and women)
9. You lead your life the way you want it to be. (again, for both men and women)
10. I can go on and on about the greatness being single..... but let me stop before I offend anybody.
I know, some of you might say.... “.....BUT single”. ALONE. DUHHH... what are friends for? Find friends of course! I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only living single girl around.
Though being married has it perks and I bet it’s awesome too. Why?
1. You’ve got a lifetime companion. Growing old together. Sharing ups and downs. Doing things together.....(if you don’t get divorced....)
2. You get kids (I’m not saying you can’t get any kids if you’re single.... there are ways...)
3. The first thing you get up and the last thing you’d do – see that person’s face whom you love so much... (you won’t probably do this when you fight....)
4. Combined income (dunno if it’s a good thing, but it should. Isn’t it?)
5. ...... married people please carry out this list... cause I don’t have anymore. I’m not one, remember?
So there you go. What say you?
To married citizens,
Get married for the right reason. Once married, stay committed.
To my fellow single comrades,
Don’t worry be happy.
Don’t get me wrong with this post people,
I STILL wanna get my feet swept by a charming lad on a chevy, JUST JOKING.
What I meant, I do still see myself in a white dress though a very blurry picture in my imagination. I still want to get swept and fall into the arms of my knight shining armour, rescuing me in the jungles.And get married. Hehe.... STILL JOKING
What I really meant was, I still believe in the institution of MARRIAGE
What I’m saying is, be with someone you’re in love and you won’t regret to be married with to even though through good and most importantly, BAD TIMES.
I do not dread about being single. I like my single life. hassle free.....
I leave you with,
By Bruce Fisher and Robert Alberti
Many people marry for the wrong reasons, among them 1) to overcome loneliness, 2) to escape an unhappy parental home, 3) because they think that everyone is expected to marry, 4) because only "losers" who can't find someone to marry stay single, 5) out of a need to parent, or be parented by another person, 6) because they got pregnant, 7) because "we fell in love," ... and on goes the list.
Cheers mate.
Signing off,
The happy single sepet eyed girl
“to be or not to be”
with the same person.”... Mignon McLaughin
A few months ago, I read about the nation’s declining rate of birth and somehow it made me ponder on few things. I think, most of my highschool friends are married, and are at least with 1 baby. However, I’m happy to say, I still got tons of friends that aren’t married (haha). Oh! And the number is not declining at an alarming rate (I meant friends that aren’t married).
Why is the nation’s birth rate is declining?
Well, one thing for sure, it’s hard to find families that has more than 6 children these days. Unlike our parents or grandparents era who has like 10 - 12 siblings. Let’s just put it more than 6. Shall we?
1. The 22nd century makes it expensive to have more than 6 children! Taxes, fuel, wet & dry food are expensive. I don’t think you can buy any decent food with just RM3.00 at any big cities in M’sia. Thankfully, I’m glad to say, I can still find good Rm3.00 nasi campur in Sandakan. I’m blessed!!
2. More than 6 children spells CHAOS.
3. Women are getting smarter by the day.
4. MOST IMPORTANTLY..... single population is increasing.
I’m not gonna carry on discussing about nation’s birth rate since I’m not married (yet). I’d like to have a say on my topic today. Marriage v/s Single.
There’s been countless battle on the issue Marriage or Single, which is better and so on.
For me, marriage is sacred. It’s not easy, but at the same time, it’s not suppose to be hell. I remembered someone told me,
“marriage is a job. You need to work for it, to make it work”
People spend roughly RM20K to get married, yet, it only probably takes RM100 to get divorced.
People get married to fornicate and make babies, and later craps about it, and make statements like “how i wish I’m still single” at one point of their later life or say “I never get to buy anything for myself anymore!”... (duh!)
Colleagues and family friends come up to me and say, “Audrey, you’re at a marriageable age already. Bah, bila lagi?” omaigat! Is it so wrong that I’m still single? Is it wrong to be single? What? Now I’m an alien just because I’m still single? Rofl.
Being unmarried, I don’t really know what or how marriage is suppose to be. But, I’d say marriage needs understanding, commitment, sacrifices, tolerance, and Love.
Love alone does not suffice.
Have you ever wonder, some couples dated so long just to find out in the end they don’t want to spend their lives together. Some couple, takes less than a year and boom boom pow, they’re married and few years later, they get divorced. But for some, it’s just meant to be. I call them the lucky ones.
While typing this, it makes me wanna write on. “is there really Mr/Ms. Right.”
Some women/men dread about being single. Why should you? What’s so bad about being single?
Think about it. When you’re single .....
1. You do not have to report duty to anybody called “husband”. Or in a guy case, your WIFE.
2. No calls after 9pm asking where you are, who you’re with, what you’re doing etc etc. (for both men and women)
3. You do not have to wash extra clothes other than yours alone.(for women)
4. No unwanted clothes lying on the floor (for women)
5. No disgusting pee spill all over the toilet bowl (for women)
6. You can earn extra cash when you’re single. Be smart. (for both men and women)
7. Able to shop and pamper yourself. (for both men and women)
8. You can go wherever you want to without worry. At least not about family that is... probably financially only. (for both men and women)
9. You lead your life the way you want it to be. (again, for both men and women)
10. I can go on and on about the greatness being single..... but let me stop before I offend anybody.
I know, some of you might say.... “.....BUT single”. ALONE. DUHHH... what are friends for? Find friends of course! I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only living single girl around.
Though being married has it perks and I bet it’s awesome too. Why?
1. You’ve got a lifetime companion. Growing old together. Sharing ups and downs. Doing things together.....(if you don’t get divorced....)
2. You get kids (I’m not saying you can’t get any kids if you’re single.... there are ways...)
3. The first thing you get up and the last thing you’d do – see that person’s face whom you love so much... (you won’t probably do this when you fight....)
4. Combined income (dunno if it’s a good thing, but it should. Isn’t it?)
5. ...... married people please carry out this list... cause I don’t have anymore. I’m not one, remember?
So there you go. What say you?
To married citizens,
Get married for the right reason. Once married, stay committed.
To my fellow single comrades,
Don’t worry be happy.
Don’t get me wrong with this post people,
I STILL wanna get my feet swept by a charming lad on a chevy, JUST JOKING.
What I meant, I do still see myself in a white dress though a very blurry picture in my imagination. I still want to get swept and fall into the arms of my knight shining armour, rescuing me in the jungles.And get married. Hehe.... STILL JOKING
What I really meant was, I still believe in the institution of MARRIAGE
What I’m saying is, be with someone you’re in love and you won’t regret to be married with to even though through good and most importantly, BAD TIMES.
I do not dread about being single. I like my single life. hassle free.....
I leave you with,
By Bruce Fisher and Robert Alberti
Many people marry for the wrong reasons, among them 1) to overcome loneliness, 2) to escape an unhappy parental home, 3) because they think that everyone is expected to marry, 4) because only "losers" who can't find someone to marry stay single, 5) out of a need to parent, or be parented by another person, 6) because they got pregnant, 7) because "we fell in love," ... and on goes the list.
Cheers mate.
Signing off,
The happy single sepet eyed girl
“to be or not to be”
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