I've come a long way since january, reaching the end of 2009, I look back at what I've been through, I've still got so much to learn, so much to understand. Overall, it's been a good year. Mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. Yes. It's been great. Well, not that I'm saying it has been 24hrs, 3-6-9 good... but, weighing out the pros and cons and appreciating the good things, yeah.. I can say it's great.
When you don't expect too much out of yourself, and life, Life can be satisfaying and happy. I've learnt that, as humans, we are only able to plan, but life takes its course naturally without abiding to our plans and timing. And so, I am learning to take life as it is. Expectations are natural. But, we shouldn't be kicking our butts, dreading of things we want but fail to get in our life, and in the end, end up being depressed, lifeless, most importantly, unhappy.
To be happy, is each individual right. I think, self-happiness is gained through being content and happy about yourself first, before the factor of other people in your life makes you happy. In a way, (for me at least...) to be happy, nessesity is yourself, others are just supplement to being happy.
I do admit, I'm not the most cheery - happy- almost everyday laughing- kinda person.. At least, I try to be happy, even when my skies are not that bright. I'm still very much single, but does that make me, UNHAPPY? Must I really need a relationship to allow me to be happy? I've been badly hurt by someone.. I embrace the fact that I'm hurt and sad, but must I really make life unhappy and gloomy?
I thank God for his grace and blessings... and for past recent happenings, are just to make me a stronger person. Well, with time and patience, wounds will heal, though it will never be the same, scars will remain as memories and teaching.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
How to Hurt Someone?
Hmm... out of the blue, I'm all for words.
How do you hurt someone? skin deep, right to the soul?
You don't have to beat them up (unless they're really oxy-stupid fucking morons)
seriously.
Words and silence is all there is.
That is why, I believe, do good to one point till the point of no return.
I have no hatred, but I do you good, don't till, You f'up, and give me shit.
that's when, all my "unlikely words of wisdom" seem to cheer the mood.
Owh, but I forgot, there are also other ways, where you just be fucking oblivious, of ignorant about the whole wide world, where the only thing you think of, is your fuckin' self. believe me, that's the the top of all cream.
ignorance is blissful. always has, always will be.
*to those who are just f'up in mind.*
How do you hurt someone? skin deep, right to the soul?
You don't have to beat them up (unless they're really oxy-stupid fucking morons)
seriously.
Words and silence is all there is.
That is why, I believe, do good to one point till the point of no return.
I have no hatred, but I do you good, don't till, You f'up, and give me shit.
that's when, all my "unlikely words of wisdom" seem to cheer the mood.
Owh, but I forgot, there are also other ways, where you just be fucking oblivious, of ignorant about the whole wide world, where the only thing you think of, is your fuckin' self. believe me, that's the the top of all cream.
ignorance is blissful. always has, always will be.
*to those who are just f'up in mind.*
When sweet turns into sour
"after every rain, there's sunshine at the end"...
mm.... they've failed to mention, after that awesome, bright, hot sunshine, there could be storm, hurricane, or even worst.
Why does happiness doesn't last forever? Why does fairytales seems just too bloody good to be true? Is it just so damn hard to find that bitter beginning but, sweet ending story? How I wish my life would sometime end like 'Notting hill' or 'sleepless in seattle' or 'when harry meets sally'?
that's why they say "those only happen in movies..." *sigh*
at times like these, I wish I have smart words, or clever phrases to depict my inner thoughts, yet I only have simple boring figure of speech. Yes, I'm no Sydney Shieldon or some marvelous writer. All I have, is me.
Why do people can be thicker than skin? Why does some, can't seem to realize what they've done hurt others, when it's so above surface than skin? shit. what Am i babbling?
Okay, So I've said things that I might or might not regret in the past hour, but should I really regret? hell No. Why not? hmm, I've gone through so much, without "you" knowing.
to you:
if only, we traded shoes, I could see what you see,
I could hear what you heared,
I could feel what you feel,
I could feel your pain.
for once, have you placed yourself in my shoe?
for once, has honesty been with us? to yourself? to me? to the world?
why?
coward-ness?
selfishness?
worthiness?
Yes, First impression lasts, but not for long,
for they say "don't judge a book just by it's freaking title..."
read the whole book, you'd know if the book is just worth keeping.
To you,
I'm sorry if my words tainted your colors,
never I meant, to kill the cat,
I've gave all I have, all my love,
for you throw it all away,
thank you, you've opened my eyes.
to a new brighter world, to a new chapter, to a new book.
Now, I won't just buy a book for it's cover, for it's title,
but for the stories, the book keeps.
A new person,
a new leaf
a new life,
a new year.
2010, I wait for you to come.
mm.... they've failed to mention, after that awesome, bright, hot sunshine, there could be storm, hurricane, or even worst.
Why does happiness doesn't last forever? Why does fairytales seems just too bloody good to be true? Is it just so damn hard to find that bitter beginning but, sweet ending story? How I wish my life would sometime end like 'Notting hill' or 'sleepless in seattle' or 'when harry meets sally'?
that's why they say "those only happen in movies..." *sigh*
at times like these, I wish I have smart words, or clever phrases to depict my inner thoughts, yet I only have simple boring figure of speech. Yes, I'm no Sydney Shieldon or some marvelous writer. All I have, is me.
Why do people can be thicker than skin? Why does some, can't seem to realize what they've done hurt others, when it's so above surface than skin? shit. what Am i babbling?
Okay, So I've said things that I might or might not regret in the past hour, but should I really regret? hell No. Why not? hmm, I've gone through so much, without "you" knowing.
to you:
if only, we traded shoes, I could see what you see,
I could hear what you heared,
I could feel what you feel,
I could feel your pain.
for once, have you placed yourself in my shoe?
for once, has honesty been with us? to yourself? to me? to the world?
why?
coward-ness?
selfishness?
worthiness?
Yes, First impression lasts, but not for long,
for they say "don't judge a book just by it's freaking title..."
read the whole book, you'd know if the book is just worth keeping.
To you,
I'm sorry if my words tainted your colors,
never I meant, to kill the cat,
I've gave all I have, all my love,
for you throw it all away,
thank you, you've opened my eyes.
to a new brighter world, to a new chapter, to a new book.
Now, I won't just buy a book for it's cover, for it's title,
but for the stories, the book keeps.
A new person,
a new leaf
a new life,
a new year.
2010, I wait for you to come.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
I'm just human
It's weird not having my lappy with me. I feel awfully disconnected from the world. I miss my lappy. It seems that it's gonna be at the service centre for 2 weeks... argh!!! I'm on the verge of really buying a new lappy, yet....I don't want to be financially distress
I'm back in KK and home gives me a peaceful and safe environment. I love that feeling, something that I've been searching hi and low in Sandakan. No matter how family can be annoying at times, and yet, family can be your greatest fort. Although I've got a small one, yet.... I'm glad it's mine.
The time that I've been keeping myself away, the feelings that I've tried to escape is here to come. It's fuckin' hard to accept reality. In the end, I have to. How longer can this heart take the pain? I've promised, and I'll keep that promise I made 6 months ago.
to you,
this love is the greatest love, cause it need all the love in the world to do.
I'll sacrifice this feeling and let it fade, with hope I'll find it back.
let I shed the tears, not you and her nor them.
be happy and merry,
I wish you happiness and love.
tears of the broken wings,
I'm back in KK and home gives me a peaceful and safe environment. I love that feeling, something that I've been searching hi and low in Sandakan. No matter how family can be annoying at times, and yet, family can be your greatest fort. Although I've got a small one, yet.... I'm glad it's mine.
The time that I've been keeping myself away, the feelings that I've tried to escape is here to come. It's fuckin' hard to accept reality. In the end, I have to. How longer can this heart take the pain? I've promised, and I'll keep that promise I made 6 months ago.
to you,
this love is the greatest love, cause it need all the love in the world to do.
I'll sacrifice this feeling and let it fade, with hope I'll find it back.
let I shed the tears, not you and her nor them.
be happy and merry,
I wish you happiness and love.
tears of the broken wings,
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Disconnected From The World
Here I am sitting in front of my colleague's lappy. WHY? Because mine went bazooka! I #%&!@ wth??? why why why why????????
well, this is gonna be short.... I'll be away for some time till I get my lappy fixed, OR a new one.... (dang!).... :(
life is already gloomy as it is, thanks to my lappy, it's gonna be worst!!
will it ever end?
till fingers meet keyboard,
audrey
well, this is gonna be short.... I'll be away for some time till I get my lappy fixed, OR a new one.... (dang!).... :(
life is already gloomy as it is, thanks to my lappy, it's gonna be worst!!
will it ever end?
till fingers meet keyboard,
audrey
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
screaming lady
I hate when this happens....
My sleeping problems are back! damn.
I don't know why the hell can't I just sleep early and have a good night rest. Now it's getting really terrible. I sleep at 5am and wake up at 11am to go to work. I don't know what is happening to me. mm.... sigh. I need to get myself fix. soon.
another odd thing is, it's been three nights I've been recurring dreams - a woman shouting at me. shit. I'm not the type of person who dreams a lot, but lately, I've been getting a lot of them, at one point, I dreamed about myself at a feast, with lots of food. funny.
here I am at 1.07am, woken by silly dogs yacking in the mid of nite.. terrible.
the one deprived of sleep,
xoxo
audrey
My sleeping problems are back! damn.
I don't know why the hell can't I just sleep early and have a good night rest. Now it's getting really terrible. I sleep at 5am and wake up at 11am to go to work. I don't know what is happening to me. mm.... sigh. I need to get myself fix. soon.
another odd thing is, it's been three nights I've been recurring dreams - a woman shouting at me. shit. I'm not the type of person who dreams a lot, but lately, I've been getting a lot of them, at one point, I dreamed about myself at a feast, with lots of food. funny.
here I am at 1.07am, woken by silly dogs yacking in the mid of nite.. terrible.
the one deprived of sleep,
xoxo
audrey
Monday, September 7, 2009
Life in gray
“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”
I'm feeling kinda blue today, for no apparent reasons.
I've gone through so much this year. My biggest question still remain unanswered, but I'll stop asking and just pick myself up when all this has ended. I'm not looking forward for it, but I'm letting myself love as much as I could, and stop when it's time to.
It's hard for me to understand or explain the situation. Love just moves you in a mysterious way. You wouldn't know when it sinked into you, and the next thing you know, you can't stop.
mm... probably when skies are clearer and birds sing at my window pane, I'll write good things. till then... let it be gray.
the one with a braveface
audrey.
I'm feeling kinda blue today, for no apparent reasons.
I've gone through so much this year. My biggest question still remain unanswered, but I'll stop asking and just pick myself up when all this has ended. I'm not looking forward for it, but I'm letting myself love as much as I could, and stop when it's time to.
It's hard for me to understand or explain the situation. Love just moves you in a mysterious way. You wouldn't know when it sinked into you, and the next thing you know, you can't stop.
mm... probably when skies are clearer and birds sing at my window pane, I'll write good things. till then... let it be gray.
the one with a braveface
audrey.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Marriage v/s Single
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always
with the same person.”... Mignon McLaughin
A few months ago, I read about the nation’s declining rate of birth and somehow it made me ponder on few things. I think, most of my highschool friends are married, and are at least with 1 baby. However, I’m happy to say, I still got tons of friends that aren’t married (haha). Oh! And the number is not declining at an alarming rate (I meant friends that aren’t married).
Why is the nation’s birth rate is declining?
Well, one thing for sure, it’s hard to find families that has more than 6 children these days. Unlike our parents or grandparents era who has like 10 - 12 siblings. Let’s just put it more than 6. Shall we?
1. The 22nd century makes it expensive to have more than 6 children! Taxes, fuel, wet & dry food are expensive. I don’t think you can buy any decent food with just RM3.00 at any big cities in M’sia. Thankfully, I’m glad to say, I can still find good Rm3.00 nasi campur in Sandakan. I’m blessed!!
2. More than 6 children spells CHAOS.
3. Women are getting smarter by the day.
4. MOST IMPORTANTLY..... single population is increasing.
I’m not gonna carry on discussing about nation’s birth rate since I’m not married (yet). I’d like to have a say on my topic today. Marriage v/s Single.
There’s been countless battle on the issue Marriage or Single, which is better and so on.
For me, marriage is sacred. It’s not easy, but at the same time, it’s not suppose to be hell. I remembered someone told me,
“marriage is a job. You need to work for it, to make it work”
People spend roughly RM20K to get married, yet, it only probably takes RM100 to get divorced.
People get married to fornicate and make babies, and later craps about it, and make statements like “how i wish I’m still single” at one point of their later life or say “I never get to buy anything for myself anymore!”... (duh!)
Colleagues and family friends come up to me and say, “Audrey, you’re at a marriageable age already. Bah, bila lagi?” omaigat! Is it so wrong that I’m still single? Is it wrong to be single? What? Now I’m an alien just because I’m still single? Rofl.
Being unmarried, I don’t really know what or how marriage is suppose to be. But, I’d say marriage needs understanding, commitment, sacrifices, tolerance, and Love.
Love alone does not suffice.
Have you ever wonder, some couples dated so long just to find out in the end they don’t want to spend their lives together. Some couple, takes less than a year and boom boom pow, they’re married and few years later, they get divorced. But for some, it’s just meant to be. I call them the lucky ones.
While typing this, it makes me wanna write on. “is there really Mr/Ms. Right.”
Some women/men dread about being single. Why should you? What’s so bad about being single?
Think about it. When you’re single .....
1. You do not have to report duty to anybody called “husband”. Or in a guy case, your WIFE.
2. No calls after 9pm asking where you are, who you’re with, what you’re doing etc etc. (for both men and women)
3. You do not have to wash extra clothes other than yours alone.(for women)
4. No unwanted clothes lying on the floor (for women)
5. No disgusting pee spill all over the toilet bowl (for women)
6. You can earn extra cash when you’re single. Be smart. (for both men and women)
7. Able to shop and pamper yourself. (for both men and women)
8. You can go wherever you want to without worry. At least not about family that is... probably financially only. (for both men and women)
9. You lead your life the way you want it to be. (again, for both men and women)
10. I can go on and on about the greatness being single..... but let me stop before I offend anybody.
I know, some of you might say.... “.....BUT single”. ALONE. DUHHH... what are friends for? Find friends of course! I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only living single girl around.
Though being married has it perks and I bet it’s awesome too. Why?
1. You’ve got a lifetime companion. Growing old together. Sharing ups and downs. Doing things together.....(if you don’t get divorced....)
2. You get kids (I’m not saying you can’t get any kids if you’re single.... there are ways...)
3. The first thing you get up and the last thing you’d do – see that person’s face whom you love so much... (you won’t probably do this when you fight....)
4. Combined income (dunno if it’s a good thing, but it should. Isn’t it?)
5. ...... married people please carry out this list... cause I don’t have anymore. I’m not one, remember?
So there you go. What say you?
To married citizens,
Get married for the right reason. Once married, stay committed.
To my fellow single comrades,
Don’t worry be happy.
Don’t get me wrong with this post people,
I STILL wanna get my feet swept by a charming lad on a chevy, JUST JOKING.
What I meant, I do still see myself in a white dress though a very blurry picture in my imagination. I still want to get swept and fall into the arms of my knight shining armour, rescuing me in the jungles.And get married. Hehe.... STILL JOKING
What I really meant was, I still believe in the institution of MARRIAGE
What I’m saying is, be with someone you’re in love and you won’t regret to be married with to even though through good and most importantly, BAD TIMES.
I do not dread about being single. I like my single life. hassle free.....
I leave you with,
By Bruce Fisher and Robert Alberti
Many people marry for the wrong reasons, among them 1) to overcome loneliness, 2) to escape an unhappy parental home, 3) because they think that everyone is expected to marry, 4) because only "losers" who can't find someone to marry stay single, 5) out of a need to parent, or be parented by another person, 6) because they got pregnant, 7) because "we fell in love," ... and on goes the list.
Cheers mate.
Signing off,
The happy single sepet eyed girl
“to be or not to be”
with the same person.”... Mignon McLaughin
A few months ago, I read about the nation’s declining rate of birth and somehow it made me ponder on few things. I think, most of my highschool friends are married, and are at least with 1 baby. However, I’m happy to say, I still got tons of friends that aren’t married (haha). Oh! And the number is not declining at an alarming rate (I meant friends that aren’t married).
Why is the nation’s birth rate is declining?
Well, one thing for sure, it’s hard to find families that has more than 6 children these days. Unlike our parents or grandparents era who has like 10 - 12 siblings. Let’s just put it more than 6. Shall we?
1. The 22nd century makes it expensive to have more than 6 children! Taxes, fuel, wet & dry food are expensive. I don’t think you can buy any decent food with just RM3.00 at any big cities in M’sia. Thankfully, I’m glad to say, I can still find good Rm3.00 nasi campur in Sandakan. I’m blessed!!
2. More than 6 children spells CHAOS.
3. Women are getting smarter by the day.
4. MOST IMPORTANTLY..... single population is increasing.
I’m not gonna carry on discussing about nation’s birth rate since I’m not married (yet). I’d like to have a say on my topic today. Marriage v/s Single.
There’s been countless battle on the issue Marriage or Single, which is better and so on.
For me, marriage is sacred. It’s not easy, but at the same time, it’s not suppose to be hell. I remembered someone told me,
“marriage is a job. You need to work for it, to make it work”
People spend roughly RM20K to get married, yet, it only probably takes RM100 to get divorced.
People get married to fornicate and make babies, and later craps about it, and make statements like “how i wish I’m still single” at one point of their later life or say “I never get to buy anything for myself anymore!”... (duh!)
Colleagues and family friends come up to me and say, “Audrey, you’re at a marriageable age already. Bah, bila lagi?” omaigat! Is it so wrong that I’m still single? Is it wrong to be single? What? Now I’m an alien just because I’m still single? Rofl.
Being unmarried, I don’t really know what or how marriage is suppose to be. But, I’d say marriage needs understanding, commitment, sacrifices, tolerance, and Love.
Love alone does not suffice.
Have you ever wonder, some couples dated so long just to find out in the end they don’t want to spend their lives together. Some couple, takes less than a year and boom boom pow, they’re married and few years later, they get divorced. But for some, it’s just meant to be. I call them the lucky ones.
While typing this, it makes me wanna write on. “is there really Mr/Ms. Right.”
Some women/men dread about being single. Why should you? What’s so bad about being single?
Think about it. When you’re single .....
1. You do not have to report duty to anybody called “husband”. Or in a guy case, your WIFE.
2. No calls after 9pm asking where you are, who you’re with, what you’re doing etc etc. (for both men and women)
3. You do not have to wash extra clothes other than yours alone.(for women)
4. No unwanted clothes lying on the floor (for women)
5. No disgusting pee spill all over the toilet bowl (for women)
6. You can earn extra cash when you’re single. Be smart. (for both men and women)
7. Able to shop and pamper yourself. (for both men and women)
8. You can go wherever you want to without worry. At least not about family that is... probably financially only. (for both men and women)
9. You lead your life the way you want it to be. (again, for both men and women)
10. I can go on and on about the greatness being single..... but let me stop before I offend anybody.
I know, some of you might say.... “.....BUT single”. ALONE. DUHHH... what are friends for? Find friends of course! I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only living single girl around.
Though being married has it perks and I bet it’s awesome too. Why?
1. You’ve got a lifetime companion. Growing old together. Sharing ups and downs. Doing things together.....(if you don’t get divorced....)
2. You get kids (I’m not saying you can’t get any kids if you’re single.... there are ways...)
3. The first thing you get up and the last thing you’d do – see that person’s face whom you love so much... (you won’t probably do this when you fight....)
4. Combined income (dunno if it’s a good thing, but it should. Isn’t it?)
5. ...... married people please carry out this list... cause I don’t have anymore. I’m not one, remember?
So there you go. What say you?
To married citizens,
Get married for the right reason. Once married, stay committed.
To my fellow single comrades,
Don’t worry be happy.
Don’t get me wrong with this post people,
I STILL wanna get my feet swept by a charming lad on a chevy, JUST JOKING.
What I meant, I do still see myself in a white dress though a very blurry picture in my imagination. I still want to get swept and fall into the arms of my knight shining armour, rescuing me in the jungles.And get married. Hehe.... STILL JOKING
What I really meant was, I still believe in the institution of MARRIAGE
What I’m saying is, be with someone you’re in love and you won’t regret to be married with to even though through good and most importantly, BAD TIMES.
I do not dread about being single. I like my single life. hassle free.....
I leave you with,
By Bruce Fisher and Robert Alberti
Many people marry for the wrong reasons, among them 1) to overcome loneliness, 2) to escape an unhappy parental home, 3) because they think that everyone is expected to marry, 4) because only "losers" who can't find someone to marry stay single, 5) out of a need to parent, or be parented by another person, 6) because they got pregnant, 7) because "we fell in love," ... and on goes the list.
Cheers mate.
Signing off,
The happy single sepet eyed girl
“to be or not to be”
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
August 18: My Last Words, My Last Love, A Letter To You
From the words of my lady,
“what am I to you?, tell me darling true”
I’ve been sitting for days now thinking of the right thing to say. Over and over I listen to Norah trying to find some consolation to the questions playing repeatedly in my head. I’ve never been a person who has flair for words to put matters across to people, emotionally that is.
Little did I know what started over a night of a hasty decision, turned into something I couldn’t explain. Maybe, for once I’m trying to tell you. Perhaps.
“When I look into your eyes,
I could feel butterflies...”
I blindly entered a battle of war of truth and lies, existence and love. Why did I? Why did you? Was it the butterflies?
I’m torn between 2 worlds. One world tells me that it is wrong for me to be around you. The other kept assuring me it wasn’t. In both, I lost. Contemplating over this, it made me question myself, Why You? Was it your perfume? Was it the sound of your voice? Was it your touch? I hated the emotions. Which emotions? Hatred? Guilt? Satisfaction? Happy? Or love?
“Opened up my heart
Never want to part
I'm giving you the ball”
I constantly reminded myself, “no commitments, no strings attach”. Bullshit I say.
A dance wouldn’t be a dance, when only 1 dances.
A clap won’t sound, if one tries with just one hand.
A match won’t be one with one team playing.
Why this long?
I’ve smiled, I’ve laughed, I’ve listened, I’ve cried, I’ve had sleepless nights, I’ve hurt, I’ve cared, I’ve done more than “no strings attached, No commitments”.
We’ve sung, we’ve danced, we’ve held hands, we’ve kissed, we’ve had long nights, we’ve argued, we’ve shared, we’ve talked, Tell me, is it really “no strings attached? No commitments?”
What is real between us? I’m “non-existence”. Remember?
All it was, was just a “blip”.
All honesty, all truth fades in this world we’ve created.
What do you expect me to feel after 6 months? Hate? Like? Non-existence feelings?
I’m still just a person made of clay.
Both just alike in many ways, different in many ways.
“See I cry if you hurt
I'd give you my last shirt
Because I love you so”
“I love You”.... 3 little words, yet tremendous effect on one. We’ve uttered them, yet, it’s meaning? Empty.
I shy away from the truth of my existence, because I don’t deserve to. Neither you.
For the last time, I’ll say these to you, I love you.
I’m a changed person because of me, not you.
I want to change, because I want to, not for you.
I deserve to be happy, because of me. Not you.
At the end of the battle, I’ll turn my back, and see myself right to the door. I’ve got nothing to lose, because I survived. I survived the pain. I survived the heartache. I’ll go .We’ve parted ways, and let it be there.
Non-existence world we created,
Leaving behind the memories we dreamed,
Between you and me,
Let the love fade,
For now or never, if love prevails
Forever it stays.
To you,
I leave this question to you, ask deep within yourself, let all honesty, all truth within u answer.
What am I to You?
Yours truly,
xoxo
audreythe fragile heart
“what am I to you?, tell me darling true”
I’ve been sitting for days now thinking of the right thing to say. Over and over I listen to Norah trying to find some consolation to the questions playing repeatedly in my head. I’ve never been a person who has flair for words to put matters across to people, emotionally that is.
Little did I know what started over a night of a hasty decision, turned into something I couldn’t explain. Maybe, for once I’m trying to tell you. Perhaps.
“When I look into your eyes,
I could feel butterflies...”
I blindly entered a battle of war of truth and lies, existence and love. Why did I? Why did you? Was it the butterflies?
I’m torn between 2 worlds. One world tells me that it is wrong for me to be around you. The other kept assuring me it wasn’t. In both, I lost. Contemplating over this, it made me question myself, Why You? Was it your perfume? Was it the sound of your voice? Was it your touch? I hated the emotions. Which emotions? Hatred? Guilt? Satisfaction? Happy? Or love?
“Opened up my heart
Never want to part
I'm giving you the ball”
I constantly reminded myself, “no commitments, no strings attach”. Bullshit I say.
A dance wouldn’t be a dance, when only 1 dances.
A clap won’t sound, if one tries with just one hand.
A match won’t be one with one team playing.
Why this long?
I’ve smiled, I’ve laughed, I’ve listened, I’ve cried, I’ve had sleepless nights, I’ve hurt, I’ve cared, I’ve done more than “no strings attached, No commitments”.
We’ve sung, we’ve danced, we’ve held hands, we’ve kissed, we’ve had long nights, we’ve argued, we’ve shared, we’ve talked, Tell me, is it really “no strings attached? No commitments?”
What is real between us? I’m “non-existence”. Remember?
All it was, was just a “blip”.
All honesty, all truth fades in this world we’ve created.
What do you expect me to feel after 6 months? Hate? Like? Non-existence feelings?
I’m still just a person made of clay.
Both just alike in many ways, different in many ways.
“See I cry if you hurt
I'd give you my last shirt
Because I love you so”
“I love You”.... 3 little words, yet tremendous effect on one. We’ve uttered them, yet, it’s meaning? Empty.
I shy away from the truth of my existence, because I don’t deserve to. Neither you.
For the last time, I’ll say these to you, I love you.
I’m a changed person because of me, not you.
I want to change, because I want to, not for you.
I deserve to be happy, because of me. Not you.
At the end of the battle, I’ll turn my back, and see myself right to the door. I’ve got nothing to lose, because I survived. I survived the pain. I survived the heartache. I’ll go .We’ve parted ways, and let it be there.
Non-existence world we created,
Leaving behind the memories we dreamed,
Between you and me,
Let the love fade,
For now or never, if love prevails
Forever it stays.
To you,
I leave this question to you, ask deep within yourself, let all honesty, all truth within u answer.
What am I to You?
Yours truly,
xoxo
audreythe fragile heart
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Songs for the Soul : MYMP
Being a person who can't afford to live without music in a day, nor without singing (though i suck big time)..... I find it a "duty" to make the world know... or at least to those who reads my humble place to crap, what I listen to, who I listen to.
So, it's a project of mine, to feature the many artist/singer-songwriter/bands that I listen to, songs that gives me tingles and butterflies that makes my heart skip a beat, from time to time.
My first entry to this project, is to MYMP (Make My Momma Proud).
I stumbled upon MYMP through a friend who sweetly dedicated me a song of MYMP - Especially for you. MYMP is a Filipino band, made up of A lady (Juris) who is so sickly talented, with the most amazing sweet voice I've heard, and a guy (chin) who plays the guitar which is able to make ur heart go "awww..." (I bet if he was in front of you playing, you'd drop down to your knees if u were a girl.)
So, ANYWAY.... like what most people know, pinoys loves to sing! And they sing good. :) It's like in Malaysia too, when you say "kadazan people" to rest of the malaysian, they'd say "Owh, usually kadazan people likes to sing, and they can sing"(apa tidak, aramaiti ja kerja kan, kalau buli every day!)..... so, you get my point eh?
An introduction to mymp, I'll leave you with their rendition of Especially For you. Originally sang by Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovon. Enjoy peeps!
an ear for the rhythm,
oat the terrible singer.
xoxo
So, it's a project of mine, to feature the many artist/singer-songwriter/bands that I listen to, songs that gives me tingles and butterflies that makes my heart skip a beat, from time to time.
My first entry to this project, is to MYMP (Make My Momma Proud).
I stumbled upon MYMP through a friend who sweetly dedicated me a song of MYMP - Especially for you. MYMP is a Filipino band, made up of A lady (Juris) who is so sickly talented, with the most amazing sweet voice I've heard, and a guy (chin) who plays the guitar which is able to make ur heart go "awww..." (I bet if he was in front of you playing, you'd drop down to your knees if u were a girl.)
So, ANYWAY.... like what most people know, pinoys loves to sing! And they sing good. :) It's like in Malaysia too, when you say "kadazan people" to rest of the malaysian, they'd say "Owh, usually kadazan people likes to sing, and they can sing"(apa tidak, aramaiti ja kerja kan, kalau buli every day!)..... so, you get my point eh?
An introduction to mymp, I'll leave you with their rendition of Especially For you. Originally sang by Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovon. Enjoy peeps!
an ear for the rhythm,
oat the terrible singer.
xoxo
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Movie Marathon: Drag me To Hell & G. I. Joe
I had my first movie marathon for 2009, and also my first here in Sandakan. Yes ladies & gentleman, behold the truth, SANDAKAN has a cinema! Believe it or not, BELIEVE IT.
*exaggerating*
Usually I finish work @ 6.00pm. I'll reach my bachelorette pad at 6.10pm. Home is just 5 min away. (shweet aye?)... Was suppose to go for gym, but since I didn't charged up my mp3 player, so, I found the right excuse for me to skip gym. With that said, I couldn't resist the movie marathon date Astroboy proposed either. SO.... movie marathon it was, Drag me To hell & G. I Joe.
my reviews (like the rain cared...duh.)
Drag me to hell
Funnily, I hardly could remember how the movie starts (that bad?... yeap.)
Bad story cut short, Drag Me To Hell had the right sound effects, but bad acting plus weird kinda story line eventually dragged me to hell with it. Basically it's a voodoo shit story. If you're into stories about bomohs and whatever you call them, then I guess you'd be intrigued by it. If you're not then don't waste your Rm10 (you could get a bigMac).
The sound effects and the face of the creepy old witch looking women were good. I had a jump, so did Astroboy (lol). Imagine, How on earth could a mean medium or evil shit can be called a LAMIA? For crying out loud.... it would be better called Labia!!!. LOL. KIDDING. And, the worse part, that evil called Lamia is suppose to be an evil soul eater is portrayed as A GOAT?!! WTF? A GOAT!!! (but the goat was pretty creepy...) I think the director (plus the actors) were high on weed or hadn't got themselves laid. A GOAT bah! sheesh. The other part that I didn't get was, 20 minutes of the movie was about the lady trying to get rid of a BUTTON!!! shit. Maybe you should go and watch this movie, to witness its stupidity.
But, had a good laugh and few shockers. Out of 5 stars, I'll give it a 1.5 star. I've seen other stupid movies to top this one off.
G.I. Joe.
The movie that most boys has been waiting for.
I'll give it a 5 star for effects and the fighting scenes. Really impressed. Really seemed real, to me at least.
Choice of actors were good. Biased here though, due to Channing Tatum... (yummy...)
mm.... what else can I say, prolly I was expecting it to be anything less than dull. Due to initial expectations, I find it to be a bit er..... so-so. Not boring, but.... nothing great either. Unlike transformers. Guess I'm just not a fan.
Overall, not a bad choice.. RM10 was worth it.
Out of 5, I'll give it a 3.5... :)
There you go, my first reviews of movies.
What say you?
signing off,
aud the movie goer..
xoxo
*exaggerating*
Usually I finish work @ 6.00pm. I'll reach my bachelorette pad at 6.10pm. Home is just 5 min away. (shweet aye?)... Was suppose to go for gym, but since I didn't charged up my mp3 player, so, I found the right excuse for me to skip gym. With that said, I couldn't resist the movie marathon date Astroboy proposed either. SO.... movie marathon it was, Drag me To hell & G. I Joe.
my reviews (like the rain cared...duh.)
Drag me to hell
Funnily, I hardly could remember how the movie starts (that bad?... yeap.)
Bad story cut short, Drag Me To Hell had the right sound effects, but bad acting plus weird kinda story line eventually dragged me to hell with it. Basically it's a voodoo shit story. If you're into stories about bomohs and whatever you call them, then I guess you'd be intrigued by it. If you're not then don't waste your Rm10 (you could get a bigMac).
The sound effects and the face of the creepy old witch looking women were good. I had a jump, so did Astroboy (lol). Imagine, How on earth could a mean medium or evil shit can be called a LAMIA? For crying out loud.... it would be better called Labia!!!. LOL. KIDDING. And, the worse part, that evil called Lamia is suppose to be an evil soul eater is portrayed as A GOAT?!! WTF? A GOAT!!! (but the goat was pretty creepy...) I think the director (plus the actors) were high on weed or hadn't got themselves laid. A GOAT bah! sheesh. The other part that I didn't get was, 20 minutes of the movie was about the lady trying to get rid of a BUTTON!!! shit. Maybe you should go and watch this movie, to witness its stupidity.
But, had a good laugh and few shockers. Out of 5 stars, I'll give it a 1.5 star. I've seen other stupid movies to top this one off.
G.I. Joe.
The movie that most boys has been waiting for.
I'll give it a 5 star for effects and the fighting scenes. Really impressed. Really seemed real, to me at least.
Choice of actors were good. Biased here though, due to Channing Tatum... (yummy...)
mm.... what else can I say, prolly I was expecting it to be anything less than dull. Due to initial expectations, I find it to be a bit er..... so-so. Not boring, but.... nothing great either. Unlike transformers. Guess I'm just not a fan.
Overall, not a bad choice.. RM10 was worth it.
Out of 5, I'll give it a 3.5... :)
There you go, my first reviews of movies.
What say you?
signing off,
aud the movie goer..
xoxo
Saturday, August 8, 2009
My Bowl of Rice
I think it's high time for me to post something readable than my usual post about my so-called-hopeless-winding-dramatic life....
*thinking*
what should I write? family? er.... i'm happily still in the single land, so mm... no husband or kids to brag about. mm.. car? i drive a lousy cheap malaysian made car. work? mm........ it could be interesting. perhaps.
I always imagined myself diving in piles of files, late nights at my overlooking a great scene office, bombarding my few tens of staff, pin stripped clean cut pants n matching suit, LV bag on my right hand... and the dream goes on and on. Call me crazy, yeah.... I wanted that life. But...... who would've guessed (even myself), I'd end up educating. A teacher. Yes, that is what I am. A teacher.
I still get a few remarks from friends and strangers like "what??!! you're a Teacher?"..... with a humble reply, "Yes, I am... I know I know.... Me? a teacher?"
I don't know what is it that blows people mind off about me being a teacher. I'm too hot to be a teacher? or too crazy to be one? LOL. which ever it is, it doesn't really matter to me.
I must say, in today's school, it's like an evolving war of mutants and vampires. okay, that's exagerating, there's only 60% truth to that.... What I meant was. It wasn't like what I remembered how school was. The amount of subjects, textbooks (I still remember how dreadful it was to bring textbook which back then was just a few), the cliches, teachers.... n the long dreadful list goes.
As a malaysian teacher, you aer required to be MULTI-TALENTED SKILLED. shit. How on earth does one be so MULTISKILLED? You have to be as follow (at least more than 1 of the list below) :
1. An actor (able to deceive emotions, stay always above pressure especially in front of students)
2. A secretary. (you have to plan your schedule, you type your own question papers - for every suject you teach, key in your student's marks and so forth)
3. A handyman (you must be able to at least know how to be handy around the office in case anything breaks, or anything you might need to use for teaching needs to be made)
4. A driver (once in a while, especially at a school that doesn't have a driver since they don't have any bus, teachers are required to be DRIVERs for students).
5. A part time parent (A teacher's job for 6 hours, besides teaching in a class)
6. A trainer (whether you like sports or not or any co-curriculum activity for that matter, YOU HAVE TO LIKE IT)
There's more than the list above. But, I'm just too darn lazy to put it all. I'm sure you get my point by now.
Hear me out, I'm not complaining about my job. I'm not saying it's all bad. Just the side effects it has on me emotionally. lmao.
Prolly, I'd write about the fancy dandy stuff about being a teacher in my next post. :)
signing off,
the singing teacher,
xoxo.
*thinking*
what should I write? family? er.... i'm happily still in the single land, so mm... no husband or kids to brag about. mm.. car? i drive a lousy cheap malaysian made car. work? mm........ it could be interesting. perhaps.
I always imagined myself diving in piles of files, late nights at my overlooking a great scene office, bombarding my few tens of staff, pin stripped clean cut pants n matching suit, LV bag on my right hand... and the dream goes on and on. Call me crazy, yeah.... I wanted that life. But...... who would've guessed (even myself), I'd end up educating. A teacher. Yes, that is what I am. A teacher.
I still get a few remarks from friends and strangers like "what??!! you're a Teacher?"..... with a humble reply, "Yes, I am... I know I know.... Me? a teacher?"
I don't know what is it that blows people mind off about me being a teacher. I'm too hot to be a teacher? or too crazy to be one? LOL. which ever it is, it doesn't really matter to me.
I must say, in today's school, it's like an evolving war of mutants and vampires. okay, that's exagerating, there's only 60% truth to that.... What I meant was. It wasn't like what I remembered how school was. The amount of subjects, textbooks (I still remember how dreadful it was to bring textbook which back then was just a few), the cliches, teachers.... n the long dreadful list goes.
As a malaysian teacher, you aer required to be MULTI-TALENTED SKILLED. shit. How on earth does one be so MULTISKILLED? You have to be as follow (at least more than 1 of the list below) :
1. An actor (able to deceive emotions, stay always above pressure especially in front of students)
2. A secretary. (you have to plan your schedule, you type your own question papers - for every suject you teach, key in your student's marks and so forth)
3. A handyman (you must be able to at least know how to be handy around the office in case anything breaks, or anything you might need to use for teaching needs to be made)
4. A driver (once in a while, especially at a school that doesn't have a driver since they don't have any bus, teachers are required to be DRIVERs for students).
5. A part time parent (A teacher's job for 6 hours, besides teaching in a class)
6. A trainer (whether you like sports or not or any co-curriculum activity for that matter, YOU HAVE TO LIKE IT)
There's more than the list above. But, I'm just too darn lazy to put it all. I'm sure you get my point by now.
Hear me out, I'm not complaining about my job. I'm not saying it's all bad. Just the side effects it has on me emotionally. lmao.
Prolly, I'd write about the fancy dandy stuff about being a teacher in my next post. :)
signing off,
the singing teacher,
xoxo.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Little words, Big Meaning
It's been long 3 months since my last post. Pass recent months' events has been crazy, whimsical, and a rollercoaster!
It's weird when you think you're missing out on things, when actually it's really how u perceive the situation. So much had happen since the existence of Astroboy in my once gray life. People come and go in life. I believe each encounter has its meaning. Be it a person to change your views, be that person u just hate his guts or ego, a bitch that has a way of getting what she wants, be a friend... be a boyfriend, a husband... and the list goes. I'm still at a point at figuring "what is the meaning of this whole frenzy fiasco meeting?"
*rolling eyes*
It's mentally challenging my desire to stay above the pressure of finding the normality of the situation. A constant inner voice keeps reminding me "stop whatever you're doing".... yet, I still find myself crawling back to the dumpshit over and over again.
It's addicting.
I didn't post anything lately cause I had nothing to write but lousy stories about how lame my life currently is, except that it's a rollercoaster. ironic?
the lucky one,
aud
xoxo
It's weird when you think you're missing out on things, when actually it's really how u perceive the situation. So much had happen since the existence of Astroboy in my once gray life. People come and go in life. I believe each encounter has its meaning. Be it a person to change your views, be that person u just hate his guts or ego, a bitch that has a way of getting what she wants, be a friend... be a boyfriend, a husband... and the list goes. I'm still at a point at figuring "what is the meaning of this whole frenzy fiasco meeting?"
*rolling eyes*
It's mentally challenging my desire to stay above the pressure of finding the normality of the situation. A constant inner voice keeps reminding me "stop whatever you're doing".... yet, I still find myself crawling back to the dumpshit over and over again.
It's addicting.
I didn't post anything lately cause I had nothing to write but lousy stories about how lame my life currently is, except that it's a rollercoaster. ironic?
the lucky one,
aud
xoxo
Monday, May 25, 2009
A Song For You
I know I haven't been writing anything lately. I blame it on procrastination, lost for smart words and ideas, and hi-rising level of laziness. To be fair though, I actually had a saved-needed-to-be edited post before this one. But..... never got the time. (yea.. rite) Oh well, I'm gonna make it up with this post. It's gonna be a good one... promise (pergh.. perasan tahap dewa).
I've always loved singing for as long as I can remember. Sadly, I'm not much of a singer to be honest. Music has played a very big part in my life. Through every chapter of my life, through good and bad, laughter and tears, heartaches and break-ups. I must say, there's always a song for every mood I am in.
To me, every song has its story. Especially when it reminds you of a person. A song can be a place where you keep memories of you and someone. No matter near or far, in hatred or in love, you always have that person in mind when you listen to that "song". It brings back old memories, stories you've shared, jokes you've laughed, moments you wish you could have once again. So, a "SONG" is the place where you get to meet that "someone" again. (well, to me at least)
Recently, a chapter in my life began knowingly which somehow ended without me realizing it. I guess, things just happens in a way I can't understand what God is planning for me. No matter what it is, I'll just take the cruise HE is giving me.
Putting everything together (this is the good part.... hohoho)
I wrote a lil' song, for a person, because of a person.
Hopefully, everytime I listen back to this song, it'll remind me of that person.
this is a sad song to start of with,
to AstroBoy (you know who u r)
A story of dreams,
that wasn't mine to hold, to start.
to a love that had no truth, no existence
to an emotion that had no pride.
because of you.
I wish you love and bid you goodbye
I wrote this song because of you
May I'll see you in this song.
in summer, winter, autumn n spring.
Because of You.
song and lyrics by Audrey
I love the way you look at me
i get so weak on my knees
because
i get butterflies when u r around
i get tingles in my heart now
but its all because of you
because of you
i like to hear you say "i missed you"
i look away so shy my boo
because I get butterflies when u r around
i get tingles in my heart now
but it's all because of you
because of you..
you wrap ur fingers around mine
i want to hold it all the time
because you give me butterflies when u r around
i get tingles in my heart now
but it's all because of you
because of you..
you wonder why
oh why this lullaby plays on and on my love
I've nothing much to say,
then to tell you
it's all because of you
To all, I'm just gonna post the lyrics for now. I don't think I've got the guts to post the song here till I think I couldn't care less what the people think of the song n my singing. The song is nothing great really, but... it's mine. One day perhaps...
Till fingers meet keyboard,
xoxo,
Aud,
I've always loved singing for as long as I can remember. Sadly, I'm not much of a singer to be honest. Music has played a very big part in my life. Through every chapter of my life, through good and bad, laughter and tears, heartaches and break-ups. I must say, there's always a song for every mood I am in.
To me, every song has its story. Especially when it reminds you of a person. A song can be a place where you keep memories of you and someone. No matter near or far, in hatred or in love, you always have that person in mind when you listen to that "song". It brings back old memories, stories you've shared, jokes you've laughed, moments you wish you could have once again. So, a "SONG" is the place where you get to meet that "someone" again. (well, to me at least)
Recently, a chapter in my life began knowingly which somehow ended without me realizing it. I guess, things just happens in a way I can't understand what God is planning for me. No matter what it is, I'll just take the cruise HE is giving me.
Putting everything together (this is the good part.... hohoho)
I wrote a lil' song, for a person, because of a person.
Hopefully, everytime I listen back to this song, it'll remind me of that person.
this is a sad song to start of with,
to AstroBoy (you know who u r)
A story of dreams,
that wasn't mine to hold, to start.
to a love that had no truth, no existence
to an emotion that had no pride.
because of you.
I wish you love and bid you goodbye
I wrote this song because of you
May I'll see you in this song.
in summer, winter, autumn n spring.
Because of You.
song and lyrics by Audrey
I love the way you look at me
i get so weak on my knees
because
i get butterflies when u r around
i get tingles in my heart now
but its all because of you
because of you
i like to hear you say "i missed you"
i look away so shy my boo
because I get butterflies when u r around
i get tingles in my heart now
but it's all because of you
because of you..
you wrap ur fingers around mine
i want to hold it all the time
because you give me butterflies when u r around
i get tingles in my heart now
but it's all because of you
because of you..
you wonder why
oh why this lullaby plays on and on my love
I've nothing much to say,
then to tell you
it's all because of you
To all, I'm just gonna post the lyrics for now. I don't think I've got the guts to post the song here till I think I couldn't care less what the people think of the song n my singing. The song is nothing great really, but... it's mine. One day perhaps...
Till fingers meet keyboard,
xoxo,
Aud,
Monday, May 11, 2009
Mother's Day
Once again it's Mother's Day.
I think I'm getting used to the feeling of spending Mother's Day away from Mom. I hate it, but, it's been a while now since I last spent Mother's Day with her. *sigh*
Due to circumstances (which I could actually avoid), I manage to be an ungrateful brat and didn't get Mom anything for Mother's Day! Not even a CARD!!! *smirk* BUT, I did NOT forget to wish her over the phone. Hey, after all, it's the THOUGHT THAT COUNTS , not the gifts..... (I know.. lame excuse!) I'll be getting something for her when I come back from KL...
I know I'm suppose to post this before Mother's Day, but being Audrey the mighty great procrastinator, I'm posting it after Mother's day... *shweet*
Let's look back how all this Mother's day craziness happened..
Source from http://www.theholidayspot.com/mothersday/history.htm
The history of Mother's Day is centuries old and the earliest Mother's Day celebrations can be traced back to the spring celebrations of ancient Greece in honor of Rhea, the Mother of the Gods. During the 1600's, the early Christians in England celebrated a day to honor Mary, the mother of Christ. By a religious order the holiday was later expanded in its scope to include all mothers, and named as the Mothering Sunday. Celebrated on the 4th Sunday of Lent (the 40 day period leading up to Easter), "Mothering Sunday" honored the mothers of England.
During this time many of the England's poor worked as servants for the wealthy. As most jobs were located far from their homes, the servants would live at the houses of their employers. On Mothering Sunday, the servants would have the day off and were encouraged to return home and spend the day with their mothers. A special cake, called the mothering cake, was often brought along to provide a festive touch.
As Christianity spread throughout Europe the celebration changed to honor the "Mother Church" - the spiritual power that gave them life and protected them from harm. Over time the church festival blended with the Mothering Sunday celebration . People began honoring their mothers as well as the church.
With the passage of time, the practice of this fantastic tradition ceased slowly. The English colonists settled in America discontinued the tradition of Mothering Sunday because of lack of time.
In the United States, Mother's Day was loosely inspired by the British day and was first suggested after the American Civil War by social activist Julia Ward Howe. Howe (who wrote the words to the Battle hymn of the Republic) was horrified by the carnage of the Civil War and the Franco-Prussian War and so, in 1870, she tried to issue a manifesto for peace at international peace conferences in London and Paris (it was much like the later Mother's Day Peace Proclamation). During the Franco-Prussian war in the 1870s, Julia began a one-woman peace crusade and made an impassioned "appeal to womanhood" to rise against war. She composed in Boston a powerful plea that same year (generally considered to be the original Mothers' Day proclamation*) translated it into several languages and distributed it widely. In 1872, she went to London to promote an international Woman's Peace Congress. She began promoting the idea of a "Mother's Day for Peace" to be celebrated on June 2, honoring peace, motherhood and womanhood. In the Boston Mass, she initiated a Mothers' Peace Day observance on the second Sunday in June, a practice that was to be established as an annual event and practiced for at least 10 years. The day was, however, mainly intended as a call to unite women against war. It was due to her efforts that in 1873, women in 18 cities in America held a Mother's Day for Pace gathering. Howe rigorously championed the cause of official celebration of Mothers Day and declaration of official holiday on the day. She held meetings every year at Boston on Mother's Peace Day and took care that the day was well-observed. The celebrations died out when she turned her efforts to working for peace and women's rights in other ways. Howe failed in her attempt to get the formal recognition of a Mother's Day for Peace. Her remarkable contribution in the establishment of Mother's Day, however, remains in the fact that she organized a Mother's Day dedicated to peace. It is a landmark in the history of Mother's Day in the sense that this was to be the precursor to the modern Mother's Day celebrations. To acknowledge Howe's achievements a stamp was issued in her honor in 1988.
It should be well to remember that Howe's idea was influenced by Ann Marie Reeves Jarvis, a young Appalachian homemaker who, starting in 1858, had attempted to improve sanitation through what she called "Mothers Friendship Day". In the 1900's, at a time when most women devoted their time solely on their family and homes, Jarvis was working to assist in the healing of the nation after the Civil War. She organized women throughout the Civil War to work for better sanitary conditions for both sides and in 1868 she began work to reconcile Union and Confederate neighbors. Ann was instrumental in saving thousands of lives by teaching women in her Mothers Friendship Clubs the basics of nursing and sanitation which she had learned from her famous physician brother James Reeves, M.D. In parts of the United States it was customary to plant tomatoes outdoors after Mother's Work Days (and not before).
It was Jarvis' daughter, Anna Jarvis, who finally succeeded in introducing Mother's Day in the sense as we celebrate it today. Anna graduated from the Female Seminary in Wheeling and taught in Grafton for a while. Later she moved to Philadelphia with her family. Anna had spent many years looking after her ailing mother. This is why she preferred to remain a spinster. When her mother died in Philadelphia on May 9, 1905, Anna missed her greatly. So did her sister Elsinore whom she looked after as well. Anna felt children often neglected to appreciate their mother enough while the mother was still alive. Now, she intended to start a Mother's Day, as an honoring of the mothers. In 1907, two years after her mother's death, Anna Jarvis disclosed her intention to her friends who supported her cause wholeheartedly. So supported by her friends, Anna decided to dedicate her life to her mother's cause and to establish Mother's Day to "honor mothers, living and dead." She started the campaign to establish a national Mother's Day. With her friends, she started a letter-writing campaign to urge ministers, businessmen and congressmen in declaring a national Mother's Day holiday. She hoped Mother's Day would increase respect for parents and strengthen family bonds.
As a result of her efforts the first mother's day was observed on May 10, 1908, by a church service honoring Late Mrs. Reese Jarvis, in the Andrews Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia, where she spent 20 years taking Sunday school classes. Grafton is the home to the International Mother's Day Shrine. Another service was also conducted on the same date in Philadelphia where Mrs. Jarvis died, leaving her two daughters Anna and Elsinore. So it was more of a homage service for Mrs. Reeves Jarvis than a general one conducted in honor of motherhood. Nevertheless, this set the stage for the later Mother's Day observances held in the honor of motherhood.
Following this, it gained a widespread popularity across the nation. The Mother's Day International Association came into being on December 12, 1912, to promote and encourage meaningful observances of the event. Anna's dream came true when on May 9, 1914, the Presidential proclamation declared the 2nd Sunday of May to be observed as Mother's Day to honor the mothers.
It was here in the first observance that the carnations were introduced by Miss Jarvis. Large jars of white carnations were set about the platform where the service was conducted. At the end of the exercise one of these white carnations was given to each person present as a souvenir of Mother's Day. All this was done because the late elder Jarvis was fond of carnations.
From there, the custom caught on -- spreading eventually to 45 states. The first Mother's Day proclamation was issued by the governor of West Virginia in 1910. Oklahoma celebrated it in that same year. It stirred the same way in as far west as the state of Washington. And by 1911 there was not a state in the Union that did not have its own observances for Mother's Day. Soon it crossed the national boundary, as people in Mexico, Canada, South America, China, Japan and Africa all joined the spree to celebrate a day for mother love.
The Mother's Day International Association came into being on December 12, 1912, to promote and encourage meaningful observances of the event. Starting from 1912, Mother's day began to be officially declared a holiday by some states. Anna's dream came true when in 1914, President Woodrow Wilson declared the first national Mother's Day, as a day for American citizens to show the flag in honor of those mothers whose sons had died in war.
The House of Representatives in May 1913 unanimously adopted a resolution requesting the President, his cabinet, the members of both Houses and all officials of the federal government to wear a white carnation on Mother's Day. On May 7,1914, a resolution providing that the second Sunday in May be designated Mother's Day was introduced by Representative James T. Heflin of Alabama and Senator Morris Sheppard of Texas. It passed both Houses and on May 9, 1914, President Woodrow Wilson made the first official announcement proclaiming Mother's Day as a national holiday that was to be held each year on the 2nd Sunday of May. He asked Americans to give a public expression of reverence to mothers through the celebration of Mother's Day:
"Now, Therefore, I, Woodrow Wilson, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the said Joint Resolution, do hereby direct the government officials to display the United States flag on all government buildings and do invite the people of the United States to display the flag at their homes or other suitable places on the second Sunday in May as a public expression of our love and reverence for the mothers of our country."
And issuing a Mother's day Proclamation has since then been a convention.
Nine years after the first official Mother's Day, commercialization of the U.S. holiday became so rampant that Anna Jarvis herself became a major opponent of what the holiday had become. While honored for her part in the growth of the holiday, Anna Jarvis' last life was miserable. As the observance of Mother's Day enjoyed increasing popularity, new dimensions came to be added to it. This made Anna Jarvis disillusioned with her own creation. Though the original spirit of honoring the mothers remained the same, what began as a religious service expanded quickly into a more secular observance leading to giving of flowers, cards, and gifts. And Anna Jarvis was unable to cope with this changing mode of expression.
In 1934 Postmaster General James A. Farley announced a stamp to commemorate Mother's Day. The stamp featured the famous painting "Arrangement in Grey and Black". The painting was a portrait of the mother of James Abbott McNeill Whistler, an English artist. It was brought in to the United States as part of an exhibit in the year 1934.
Mother's Day continues to this day to be one of the most commercially successful U.S. occasions. According to the National Restaurant Association, Mother's Day is now the most popular day of the year to dine out at a restaurant in the United States. The occasion is now celebrated not so much with flags as with gifts, cards, hugs, thank yous and other tokens of affection. While many countries of the world celebrate their own Mother's Day on different days and at different times throughout the year, there are some countries such as Denmark, Finland, Italy, Turkey, Australia, and Belgium which also celebrate Mother's Day on the second Sunday of May. In some countries, the appreciation lasts for two days.
Today, Mother's Day is a day honoring mothers, celebrated on various days in many places around the world. It is the day when you acknowledge your mothers contribution in your life and pay a tribute to her, often with flowers and gifts. It complements Father's Day, the celebration honoring fathers.
Okay, so let's blame the americans again... for commercilizing every event! lol.
To those people who tends to ask this question "er... when is Mother's Day ah?" every month of May..... IT FALLS ON THE SECOND SUNDAY OF MAY! duh.
Before I sign off,
This one is for you mom,
I may have said the worst of things,
You still see the best in me.
I may have done the worst of things,
You still believed in me.
I may have hurt you in so many ways,
You are still there for me.
I am standing because of you
I am breathing because of you
I am here because of you,
No country,
No oceans,
Nothing can part us.
Cause in me there is you.
No words,
No gifts,
No songs,
Could show my feelings,
You are more than anything I could give,
I love you.
Till fingers meet keyboard,
signin' off
audrey
xoxo
I think I'm getting used to the feeling of spending Mother's Day away from Mom. I hate it, but, it's been a while now since I last spent Mother's Day with her. *sigh*
Due to circumstances (which I could actually avoid), I manage to be an ungrateful brat and didn't get Mom anything for Mother's Day! Not even a CARD!!! *smirk* BUT, I did NOT forget to wish her over the phone. Hey, after all, it's the THOUGHT THAT COUNTS , not the gifts..... (I know.. lame excuse!) I'll be getting something for her when I come back from KL...
I know I'm suppose to post this before Mother's Day, but being Audrey the mighty great procrastinator, I'm posting it after Mother's day... *shweet*
Let's look back how all this Mother's day craziness happened..
Source from http://www.theholidayspot.com/mothersday/history.htm
The history of Mother's Day is centuries old and the earliest Mother's Day celebrations can be traced back to the spring celebrations of ancient Greece in honor of Rhea, the Mother of the Gods. During the 1600's, the early Christians in England celebrated a day to honor Mary, the mother of Christ. By a religious order the holiday was later expanded in its scope to include all mothers, and named as the Mothering Sunday. Celebrated on the 4th Sunday of Lent (the 40 day period leading up to Easter), "Mothering Sunday" honored the mothers of England.
During this time many of the England's poor worked as servants for the wealthy. As most jobs were located far from their homes, the servants would live at the houses of their employers. On Mothering Sunday, the servants would have the day off and were encouraged to return home and spend the day with their mothers. A special cake, called the mothering cake, was often brought along to provide a festive touch.
As Christianity spread throughout Europe the celebration changed to honor the "Mother Church" - the spiritual power that gave them life and protected them from harm. Over time the church festival blended with the Mothering Sunday celebration . People began honoring their mothers as well as the church.
With the passage of time, the practice of this fantastic tradition ceased slowly. The English colonists settled in America discontinued the tradition of Mothering Sunday because of lack of time.
In the United States, Mother's Day was loosely inspired by the British day and was first suggested after the American Civil War by social activist Julia Ward Howe. Howe (who wrote the words to the Battle hymn of the Republic) was horrified by the carnage of the Civil War and the Franco-Prussian War and so, in 1870, she tried to issue a manifesto for peace at international peace conferences in London and Paris (it was much like the later Mother's Day Peace Proclamation). During the Franco-Prussian war in the 1870s, Julia began a one-woman peace crusade and made an impassioned "appeal to womanhood" to rise against war. She composed in Boston a powerful plea that same year (generally considered to be the original Mothers' Day proclamation*) translated it into several languages and distributed it widely. In 1872, she went to London to promote an international Woman's Peace Congress. She began promoting the idea of a "Mother's Day for Peace" to be celebrated on June 2, honoring peace, motherhood and womanhood. In the Boston Mass, she initiated a Mothers' Peace Day observance on the second Sunday in June, a practice that was to be established as an annual event and practiced for at least 10 years. The day was, however, mainly intended as a call to unite women against war. It was due to her efforts that in 1873, women in 18 cities in America held a Mother's Day for Pace gathering. Howe rigorously championed the cause of official celebration of Mothers Day and declaration of official holiday on the day. She held meetings every year at Boston on Mother's Peace Day and took care that the day was well-observed. The celebrations died out when she turned her efforts to working for peace and women's rights in other ways. Howe failed in her attempt to get the formal recognition of a Mother's Day for Peace. Her remarkable contribution in the establishment of Mother's Day, however, remains in the fact that she organized a Mother's Day dedicated to peace. It is a landmark in the history of Mother's Day in the sense that this was to be the precursor to the modern Mother's Day celebrations. To acknowledge Howe's achievements a stamp was issued in her honor in 1988.
It should be well to remember that Howe's idea was influenced by Ann Marie Reeves Jarvis, a young Appalachian homemaker who, starting in 1858, had attempted to improve sanitation through what she called "Mothers Friendship Day". In the 1900's, at a time when most women devoted their time solely on their family and homes, Jarvis was working to assist in the healing of the nation after the Civil War. She organized women throughout the Civil War to work for better sanitary conditions for both sides and in 1868 she began work to reconcile Union and Confederate neighbors. Ann was instrumental in saving thousands of lives by teaching women in her Mothers Friendship Clubs the basics of nursing and sanitation which she had learned from her famous physician brother James Reeves, M.D. In parts of the United States it was customary to plant tomatoes outdoors after Mother's Work Days (and not before).
It was Jarvis' daughter, Anna Jarvis, who finally succeeded in introducing Mother's Day in the sense as we celebrate it today. Anna graduated from the Female Seminary in Wheeling and taught in Grafton for a while. Later she moved to Philadelphia with her family. Anna had spent many years looking after her ailing mother. This is why she preferred to remain a spinster. When her mother died in Philadelphia on May 9, 1905, Anna missed her greatly. So did her sister Elsinore whom she looked after as well. Anna felt children often neglected to appreciate their mother enough while the mother was still alive. Now, she intended to start a Mother's Day, as an honoring of the mothers. In 1907, two years after her mother's death, Anna Jarvis disclosed her intention to her friends who supported her cause wholeheartedly. So supported by her friends, Anna decided to dedicate her life to her mother's cause and to establish Mother's Day to "honor mothers, living and dead." She started the campaign to establish a national Mother's Day. With her friends, she started a letter-writing campaign to urge ministers, businessmen and congressmen in declaring a national Mother's Day holiday. She hoped Mother's Day would increase respect for parents and strengthen family bonds.
As a result of her efforts the first mother's day was observed on May 10, 1908, by a church service honoring Late Mrs. Reese Jarvis, in the Andrews Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia, where she spent 20 years taking Sunday school classes. Grafton is the home to the International Mother's Day Shrine. Another service was also conducted on the same date in Philadelphia where Mrs. Jarvis died, leaving her two daughters Anna and Elsinore. So it was more of a homage service for Mrs. Reeves Jarvis than a general one conducted in honor of motherhood. Nevertheless, this set the stage for the later Mother's Day observances held in the honor of motherhood.
Following this, it gained a widespread popularity across the nation. The Mother's Day International Association came into being on December 12, 1912, to promote and encourage meaningful observances of the event. Anna's dream came true when on May 9, 1914, the Presidential proclamation declared the 2nd Sunday of May to be observed as Mother's Day to honor the mothers.
It was here in the first observance that the carnations were introduced by Miss Jarvis. Large jars of white carnations were set about the platform where the service was conducted. At the end of the exercise one of these white carnations was given to each person present as a souvenir of Mother's Day. All this was done because the late elder Jarvis was fond of carnations.
From there, the custom caught on -- spreading eventually to 45 states. The first Mother's Day proclamation was issued by the governor of West Virginia in 1910. Oklahoma celebrated it in that same year. It stirred the same way in as far west as the state of Washington. And by 1911 there was not a state in the Union that did not have its own observances for Mother's Day. Soon it crossed the national boundary, as people in Mexico, Canada, South America, China, Japan and Africa all joined the spree to celebrate a day for mother love.
The Mother's Day International Association came into being on December 12, 1912, to promote and encourage meaningful observances of the event. Starting from 1912, Mother's day began to be officially declared a holiday by some states. Anna's dream came true when in 1914, President Woodrow Wilson declared the first national Mother's Day, as a day for American citizens to show the flag in honor of those mothers whose sons had died in war.
The House of Representatives in May 1913 unanimously adopted a resolution requesting the President, his cabinet, the members of both Houses and all officials of the federal government to wear a white carnation on Mother's Day. On May 7,1914, a resolution providing that the second Sunday in May be designated Mother's Day was introduced by Representative James T. Heflin of Alabama and Senator Morris Sheppard of Texas. It passed both Houses and on May 9, 1914, President Woodrow Wilson made the first official announcement proclaiming Mother's Day as a national holiday that was to be held each year on the 2nd Sunday of May. He asked Americans to give a public expression of reverence to mothers through the celebration of Mother's Day:
"Now, Therefore, I, Woodrow Wilson, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the said Joint Resolution, do hereby direct the government officials to display the United States flag on all government buildings and do invite the people of the United States to display the flag at their homes or other suitable places on the second Sunday in May as a public expression of our love and reverence for the mothers of our country."
And issuing a Mother's day Proclamation has since then been a convention.
Nine years after the first official Mother's Day, commercialization of the U.S. holiday became so rampant that Anna Jarvis herself became a major opponent of what the holiday had become. While honored for her part in the growth of the holiday, Anna Jarvis' last life was miserable. As the observance of Mother's Day enjoyed increasing popularity, new dimensions came to be added to it. This made Anna Jarvis disillusioned with her own creation. Though the original spirit of honoring the mothers remained the same, what began as a religious service expanded quickly into a more secular observance leading to giving of flowers, cards, and gifts. And Anna Jarvis was unable to cope with this changing mode of expression.
In 1934 Postmaster General James A. Farley announced a stamp to commemorate Mother's Day. The stamp featured the famous painting "Arrangement in Grey and Black". The painting was a portrait of the mother of James Abbott McNeill Whistler, an English artist. It was brought in to the United States as part of an exhibit in the year 1934.
Mother's Day continues to this day to be one of the most commercially successful U.S. occasions. According to the National Restaurant Association, Mother's Day is now the most popular day of the year to dine out at a restaurant in the United States. The occasion is now celebrated not so much with flags as with gifts, cards, hugs, thank yous and other tokens of affection. While many countries of the world celebrate their own Mother's Day on different days and at different times throughout the year, there are some countries such as Denmark, Finland, Italy, Turkey, Australia, and Belgium which also celebrate Mother's Day on the second Sunday of May. In some countries, the appreciation lasts for two days.
Today, Mother's Day is a day honoring mothers, celebrated on various days in many places around the world. It is the day when you acknowledge your mothers contribution in your life and pay a tribute to her, often with flowers and gifts. It complements Father's Day, the celebration honoring fathers.
Okay, so let's blame the americans again... for commercilizing every event! lol.
To those people who tends to ask this question "er... when is Mother's Day ah?" every month of May..... IT FALLS ON THE SECOND SUNDAY OF MAY! duh.
Before I sign off,
This one is for you mom,
I may have said the worst of things,
You still see the best in me.
I may have done the worst of things,
You still believed in me.
I may have hurt you in so many ways,
You are still there for me.
I am standing because of you
I am breathing because of you
I am here because of you,
No country,
No oceans,
Nothing can part us.
Cause in me there is you.
No words,
No gifts,
No songs,
Could show my feelings,
You are more than anything I could give,
I love you.
Till fingers meet keyboard,
signin' off
audrey
xoxo
Monday, May 4, 2009
About Me
yawns (just got back from KK.. n I'm awfully tired, but felt like blogging at least something)..
Everytime when it comes to the question "About Me" or "About Yourself" asked, I tend to put my chubby fingers on the tip of the keys and not type anything.
I think I was looking for cool words to describe myself over the net so I may appear cool? (rofl) perhaps.
But, really... have you look at yourself in the mirror, and really ask yourself, "who are you?" Do you really know that person you're looking at in the mirror?
So, this post ladies and gentleman, is a tribute to "ABOUT ME".
1.The name is Audrey Rose (thank GOD! for my parents. LOL.).
2.Age? I've stopped aging at 20! always remained 20 yr old! N i've been one for quite a while now. (u do the logics)
3.I'm proud to say that I'm a Kadazan. Sadly and embarassing enough though, I can't speak my mother tongue language (blame my parents!!)
4. I am un-officially a "kuli" for the Government Education Department. I educate. I wouldn't say I wanted to be an educator, but I had to face the reality, it runs in the family. No matter how I try to escape or run away from being one! shit. I end up being one in the end. I (however) remain open to other opportunity that may and will come my way in the future.
5. I do not eat egg yolk when it's cooked sunny side up or boiled half cooked. (yuck. yew. puke.)
6. I sing most of the time. Music is like food to me. can't live without it. can't imagine life without it. I may not be a musician nor a singer, but I love everything about it.
7. I like tall guys.
8. I believe there is no equality in life. It's just how you cope to inequality.
9. I grew up a while in the states, ended up spending my teenage mutant life in Sabah, resulted in spending my "glory days" in west malaysia for 6 years, and prolly gonna spend few years in jungle land of sandakan...
10. Family is important. The foundation of every person.
11. Colors that I like: Grey - looks sophisticated to me, Black - mysterious, Green - Alive, Blue - calming.
12. I don't like getting flowers. I don't know how to react to it..
That is my 12 things "about me".
nothing mysterious really. just normal.
till fingers meet keyboards,
signing off,
yours truly.
Everytime when it comes to the question "About Me" or "About Yourself" asked, I tend to put my chubby fingers on the tip of the keys and not type anything.
I think I was looking for cool words to describe myself over the net so I may appear cool? (rofl) perhaps.
But, really... have you look at yourself in the mirror, and really ask yourself, "who are you?" Do you really know that person you're looking at in the mirror?
So, this post ladies and gentleman, is a tribute to "ABOUT ME".
1.The name is Audrey Rose (thank GOD! for my parents. LOL.).
2.Age? I've stopped aging at 20! always remained 20 yr old! N i've been one for quite a while now. (u do the logics)
3.I'm proud to say that I'm a Kadazan. Sadly and embarassing enough though, I can't speak my mother tongue language (blame my parents!!)
4. I am un-officially a "kuli" for the Government Education Department. I educate. I wouldn't say I wanted to be an educator, but I had to face the reality, it runs in the family. No matter how I try to escape or run away from being one! shit. I end up being one in the end. I (however) remain open to other opportunity that may and will come my way in the future.
5. I do not eat egg yolk when it's cooked sunny side up or boiled half cooked. (yuck. yew. puke.)
6. I sing most of the time. Music is like food to me. can't live without it. can't imagine life without it. I may not be a musician nor a singer, but I love everything about it.
7. I like tall guys.
8. I believe there is no equality in life. It's just how you cope to inequality.
9. I grew up a while in the states, ended up spending my teenage mutant life in Sabah, resulted in spending my "glory days" in west malaysia for 6 years, and prolly gonna spend few years in jungle land of sandakan...
10. Family is important. The foundation of every person.
11. Colors that I like: Grey - looks sophisticated to me, Black - mysterious, Green - Alive, Blue - calming.
12. I don't like getting flowers. I don't know how to react to it..
That is my 12 things "about me".
nothing mysterious really. just normal.
till fingers meet keyboards,
signing off,
yours truly.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Love Factor - Right Person, Wrong Timing.
It's a quiet and warm night. (i miss the rain...)
While my fingers are pinned to the keys of the lappy, I let my brains run wild with ideas to write tonight. Yet, I'm still hopelessly trying to find the right things to write and end up crapping.
Honestly, I don't want this cyberworld I have here to be just a place for me to crap most of the time. (I think the weather is making me go a bit blue tonight).
After a quiet, an alone "me" time dindin, I find myself mulling over things that had happen these past few months.
"why?", "what?", "when?", "how?","who?"
The "WH" questions keeps playing repeatedly in my head like a broken tape player.
Can just someone stop it already?
Then.. I remembered, a conversation I had not long ago with a girlfriend..
"where have all the good guys gone to?"
"They're either taken"
"or... Married".....(long pause, with a snort, and a "duh!" look)
"or.. GAY"
true? perhaps.
Though my belief in the "Right Guy" or in some other terms and context "The One" exist for every girl may have fade over the years after meeting the bunch of mens I've bumped into, but, I do still believe it exist..(yes girls... you may call me foolish for saying that).
Some people have the privilege to date each other and stay in love for so long and only marry after years of dating since high school. Some were high school sweethearts, dated for so long only to realize they weren't right together and parted ways. Others, only took a year, or just months to know "he/she is THE ONE". In Hollywood, takes minutes to get hitched and only realize 24hrs after they're married, they were actually wrong for each other. (bizarred?)
I'm sure you've been in a situation where you've met this new person, and came to know his/her attitude and personality after sometime, and....before you know it, you've started to have that "itchy likey" feeling towards that person. It started with cute, interesting, naive shorts texts (the fishing game I call it), short phone calls, meeting up for a drink in a group...evolved to texting continuously (smiling while reading and replying those texts), more than 3 times a day phone calls (with small laughs that irritates others), meeting up for dinner and finding every reason to meet.
It leaves you with a gluey, warm, happy feeling doesn't it? (it makes your heart go "aaaahh.. or Mmmm... and awww....)
Then this situation goes to a state where you say, "bummer!"...
He has a taken or attached or married or gay or "it's complicated" status! (bummer!)
This goes back to my earlier WH questions which are still madly playing at the back of my head while I'm writing this.
Why You? Why Now? Why not before this? How could I? What am I feeling? When is it ending? How is it gonna be? Why did I meet you?
Who is Us?
What is Us?
then.. it evolved to my "What If" questions.
I answered, all my questions with...
"it was never mine from the beginning"
"It never was mine to start off, never could be, never will be."
He's the "right guy" because of the person he is. The way we are when we're together. The way our mind thinks (though it may not be alike and we misunderstand each other most of the time). Our differences and imperfections are just right. (probably I could be just exaggerating the whole situation). Our likings are just perfect.
We score A+ in Chemistry.
and yet, wrong timing.
why?
till fingers meet keyboards,
signin' off...
audrey
xoxo
While my fingers are pinned to the keys of the lappy, I let my brains run wild with ideas to write tonight. Yet, I'm still hopelessly trying to find the right things to write and end up crapping.
Honestly, I don't want this cyberworld I have here to be just a place for me to crap most of the time. (I think the weather is making me go a bit blue tonight).
After a quiet, an alone "me" time dindin, I find myself mulling over things that had happen these past few months.
"why?", "what?", "when?", "how?","who?"
The "WH" questions keeps playing repeatedly in my head like a broken tape player.
Can just someone stop it already?
Then.. I remembered, a conversation I had not long ago with a girlfriend..
"where have all the good guys gone to?"
"They're either taken"
"or... Married".....(long pause, with a snort, and a "duh!" look)
"or.. GAY"
true? perhaps.
Though my belief in the "Right Guy" or in some other terms and context "The One" exist for every girl may have fade over the years after meeting the bunch of mens I've bumped into, but, I do still believe it exist..(yes girls... you may call me foolish for saying that).
Some people have the privilege to date each other and stay in love for so long and only marry after years of dating since high school. Some were high school sweethearts, dated for so long only to realize they weren't right together and parted ways. Others, only took a year, or just months to know "he/she is THE ONE". In Hollywood, takes minutes to get hitched and only realize 24hrs after they're married, they were actually wrong for each other. (bizarred?)
I'm sure you've been in a situation where you've met this new person, and came to know his/her attitude and personality after sometime, and....before you know it, you've started to have that "itchy likey" feeling towards that person. It started with cute, interesting, naive shorts texts (the fishing game I call it), short phone calls, meeting up for a drink in a group...evolved to texting continuously (smiling while reading and replying those texts), more than 3 times a day phone calls (with small laughs that irritates others), meeting up for dinner and finding every reason to meet.
It leaves you with a gluey, warm, happy feeling doesn't it? (it makes your heart go "aaaahh.. or Mmmm... and awww....)
Then this situation goes to a state where you say, "bummer!"...
He has a taken or attached or married or gay or "it's complicated" status! (bummer!)
This goes back to my earlier WH questions which are still madly playing at the back of my head while I'm writing this.
Why You? Why Now? Why not before this? How could I? What am I feeling? When is it ending? How is it gonna be? Why did I meet you?
Who is Us?
What is Us?
then.. it evolved to my "What If" questions.
I answered, all my questions with...
"it was never mine from the beginning"
"It never was mine to start off, never could be, never will be."
He's the "right guy" because of the person he is. The way we are when we're together. The way our mind thinks (though it may not be alike and we misunderstand each other most of the time). Our differences and imperfections are just right. (probably I could be just exaggerating the whole situation). Our likings are just perfect.
We score A+ in Chemistry.
and yet, wrong timing.
why?
till fingers meet keyboards,
signin' off...
audrey
xoxo
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Days In Sandakan
I'm very overwhelmed by the response from my little yet, supportive readers (which I appreciate so much for visiting my blog) on my previous post "10 things about AstroBoy".
It's an exciting feeling to know that there are actually some who reads my blog. Thank you again.
Many has been asking me about "AstroBoy"... "who is he?", "is he real?". I've been told to continue my post on "AstroBoy" again. Well, no promises. That's all. Well, maybe another post or two on AstroBoy? I'll think about it.
As some may know that I am now officially based in Sandakan (Lord knows how long I'll be stuck here). I've been back n forth from KK TO Kl to KK to KL again.. n KK n Sandakan , and honestly, it's a bit tiring I must say.
Not that I don't like to be living with my folks (missing home terribly actually), but, I think being a Capri, I love the freedom and the sense of independance living afar from home. AND, besides, it's thrilling everytime I get the chance to be back in Kota Kinabalu.
Today marks the 3rd month I've been in Sandakan the land of Orang Utan, Proboscis Monkeys, The land of Cheap food,booze and Seafood, the land where people are proud of their Giant Supermarket (I will tell you why in a bit),The land where road lights are scarce and full of shitty drivers around, last but not least, The land where places are called by "Miles" (found it rather bizzarely strange at first , but got the hang of it after a while. FYI, Mile 4 - Mile paling famous ni..)
Let me do a 5 things I like and Don't Like about Sandakan.
5 things I LIKE about Sandakan
1. Cheap Food
2. No traffic Jams
3. Cheap Booze
4. Not a busy and hectic town
5. (yet to be filled)
5 things I DON'T LIKE about Sandakan
1. Less choice of Food (I long for McD and Burger King, crave for Big Apple's Donuts)
2. No Shopping Malls (the VERY reason why do people of sandakan are very proud of the Giant Supermarket)
3. Boring (don't ask me why, wait till you get here)
4. CAR DRIVERS (shitty drivers everywhere, no sense of giving signals.)
5. Slow (drivers are slow, the way they walk are slow, traffic lights are slow, getting the electricity back after a blackout is slow)
There you go. My 5 things - Like and Don't like about Sandakan.
To my fellow Sandakan friends, please do no take any of these personally. Just merely an opinion, which I'm free to have. Right? Who bloody cares anyway.
As days goes by, I'm beginning to settle down and fit in into this little city. Never imagined I have survived my first 3 months in Sandakan. I thought I'd be gone before April. Haha.
To remember this very day, I'll try to write something special.
Days in Sandakan
RM50 on fuel,
2 stops,
a long bumpy 6 hours drive
A sunburnt right arm and an awful backache,
A car packed with stuffs,
Sandakan, here I am!
Long straight pitch dark roads,
Far U-Turns and excessive roundabouts,
Spent RM70, to learn your roads,
Sandakan, why do u have to be so far?
Early dawn, early dusk,
by 9 you're almost dead,
sandakan sandakan...
my heart sighs for Sandakan,
for the day it leaps with joy.
signin' off...
till fingers meet keyboard,
audrey
xoxo.
It's an exciting feeling to know that there are actually some who reads my blog. Thank you again.
Many has been asking me about "AstroBoy"... "who is he?", "is he real?". I've been told to continue my post on "AstroBoy" again. Well, no promises. That's all. Well, maybe another post or two on AstroBoy? I'll think about it.
As some may know that I am now officially based in Sandakan (Lord knows how long I'll be stuck here). I've been back n forth from KK TO Kl to KK to KL again.. n KK n Sandakan , and honestly, it's a bit tiring I must say.
Not that I don't like to be living with my folks (missing home terribly actually), but, I think being a Capri, I love the freedom and the sense of independance living afar from home. AND, besides, it's thrilling everytime I get the chance to be back in Kota Kinabalu.
Today marks the 3rd month I've been in Sandakan the land of Orang Utan, Proboscis Monkeys, The land of Cheap food,booze and Seafood, the land where people are proud of their Giant Supermarket (I will tell you why in a bit),The land where road lights are scarce and full of shitty drivers around, last but not least, The land where places are called by "Miles" (found it rather bizzarely strange at first , but got the hang of it after a while. FYI, Mile 4 - Mile paling famous ni..)
Let me do a 5 things I like and Don't Like about Sandakan.
5 things I LIKE about Sandakan
1. Cheap Food
2. No traffic Jams
3. Cheap Booze
4. Not a busy and hectic town
5. (yet to be filled)
5 things I DON'T LIKE about Sandakan
1. Less choice of Food (I long for McD and Burger King, crave for Big Apple's Donuts)
2. No Shopping Malls (the VERY reason why do people of sandakan are very proud of the Giant Supermarket)
3. Boring (don't ask me why, wait till you get here)
4. CAR DRIVERS (shitty drivers everywhere, no sense of giving signals.)
5. Slow (drivers are slow, the way they walk are slow, traffic lights are slow, getting the electricity back after a blackout is slow)
There you go. My 5 things - Like and Don't like about Sandakan.
To my fellow Sandakan friends, please do no take any of these personally. Just merely an opinion, which I'm free to have. Right? Who bloody cares anyway.
As days goes by, I'm beginning to settle down and fit in into this little city. Never imagined I have survived my first 3 months in Sandakan. I thought I'd be gone before April. Haha.
To remember this very day, I'll try to write something special.
Days in Sandakan
RM50 on fuel,
2 stops,
a long bumpy 6 hours drive
A sunburnt right arm and an awful backache,
A car packed with stuffs,
Sandakan, here I am!
Long straight pitch dark roads,
Far U-Turns and excessive roundabouts,
Spent RM70, to learn your roads,
Sandakan, why do u have to be so far?
Early dawn, early dusk,
by 9 you're almost dead,
sandakan sandakan...
my heart sighs for Sandakan,
for the day it leaps with joy.
signin' off...
till fingers meet keyboard,
audrey
xoxo.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
My 10 Things About AstroBoy
*clears throat*
We meet new people every now and then. For myself, I believe, every new person I meet has its reasons and purposes - perhaps to like; to fall in love with; to learn something; to teach something; to get heartbroken and the list goes on. I don't know if any of you get my point here. Because, to some, meeting a new person is like a "touch n go" purposes.
So! (smiles) You've FINALLY met a new person. It may have started out with the boring regular exchanges of hellos, then would probably be hanging out several time, business meetings, then could lead to clubbing or breakfasting,lunching, dinnering and yada yada yada.... (you DO get my point right?).
Well, this new person that you've met will then MIGHT lead to something else. (in a bigger deeper way. LoL) To be a person that you may hate, like, love, married to, fling with, or simply, be just the best friend you'd ever had.
So, my dear readers, this is an introduction of a new character in my current phase of life, this "new character" may continue to exist in my upcoming posts. I Repeat, THAT MAY (and may only) exist in my upcoming posts.
AstroBoy is a new person I've came to know and this is my 10 things about AstroBoy.
10 things about AstroBoy
1. Humble. (Sometimes, too down to earth)
2. Has "foot in mouth" disease. (Luckily, it's not chronic or contagious).
3. Tall (For an Asian)
4. Funny (to me at least)
5. A Thinker (Thinks too much for own good)
6. Career + Family minded = personal sacrifices. (I admire)
7. Needs more calories (Ur still SEXY to me... though, I don't mind giving some of mine...)
8. Fun (same wavelength, gets my sarcasm and stupid jokes).
9. Intelligent. (sharp thinker, has a mind of his own)
10. Determine (I find it inspiring and sexy!)
Enlightened?
So, what's your say about meeting a new person?
Hmm... ?
till fingers meet keyboard,
keeping you posted from afar..
audrey
xoxo
Warning:
This introduction may and may not lead to any existence to my upcoming posts.
We meet new people every now and then. For myself, I believe, every new person I meet has its reasons and purposes - perhaps to like; to fall in love with; to learn something; to teach something; to get heartbroken and the list goes on. I don't know if any of you get my point here. Because, to some, meeting a new person is like a "touch n go" purposes.
So! (smiles) You've FINALLY met a new person. It may have started out with the boring regular exchanges of hellos, then would probably be hanging out several time, business meetings, then could lead to clubbing or breakfasting,lunching, dinnering and yada yada yada.... (you DO get my point right?).
Well, this new person that you've met will then MIGHT lead to something else. (in a bigger deeper way. LoL) To be a person that you may hate, like, love, married to, fling with, or simply, be just the best friend you'd ever had.
So, my dear readers, this is an introduction of a new character in my current phase of life, this "new character" may continue to exist in my upcoming posts. I Repeat, THAT MAY (and may only) exist in my upcoming posts.
AstroBoy is a new person I've came to know and this is my 10 things about AstroBoy.
10 things about AstroBoy
1. Humble. (Sometimes, too down to earth)
2. Has "foot in mouth" disease. (Luckily, it's not chronic or contagious).
3. Tall (For an Asian)
4. Funny (to me at least)
5. A Thinker (Thinks too much for own good)
6. Career + Family minded = personal sacrifices. (I admire)
7. Needs more calories (Ur still SEXY to me... though, I don't mind giving some of mine...)
8. Fun (same wavelength, gets my sarcasm and stupid jokes).
9. Intelligent. (sharp thinker, has a mind of his own)
10. Determine (I find it inspiring and sexy!)
Enlightened?
So, what's your say about meeting a new person?
Hmm... ?
till fingers meet keyboard,
keeping you posted from afar..
audrey
xoxo
Warning:
This introduction may and may not lead to any existence to my upcoming posts.
Monday, April 13, 2009
WELCOME
Welcome and Greetings,
*I should have done this a looonnng time ago.*
Somehow or rather, I've managed to procastinate this blog of mine for quite some time now. Tons of reasons I can make up as an excuse.
Well, my first post. Interestingly, I don't have any great ideas of what to write, neither do I have anything on my mind at the moment. I just know I have to start somewhere.
I'm not gonna make any promises that I'll post everyday, or be funny, or write smart stuffs like others do. But, I'll try to make it as interesting as i can. Perhaps, write about normal everyday stuff, seeing the world through my lil' sepet eyes.
Most importantly, I hope I'm able to keep up with this blog and not dump it like the one I did before. (Keeping my fingers crossed)
So, to whoever that's gonna read my humble writings on this free blog space of mine, I hope you won't yawn or complain. LOL. I welcome all criticism, all sarcasm, all comments, and all praises. Honestly, I hope you'll enjoy reading and seeing another part of the world, through my eyes, my blog. :) Peace.
*Don't click 'X' yet.*
till fingers meet keyboard,
audrey.
XOXO
*u may click 'X' button now. Thank u*
*I should have done this a looonnng time ago.*
Somehow or rather, I've managed to procastinate this blog of mine for quite some time now. Tons of reasons I can make up as an excuse.
Well, my first post. Interestingly, I don't have any great ideas of what to write, neither do I have anything on my mind at the moment. I just know I have to start somewhere.
I'm not gonna make any promises that I'll post everyday, or be funny, or write smart stuffs like others do. But, I'll try to make it as interesting as i can. Perhaps, write about normal everyday stuff, seeing the world through my lil' sepet eyes.
Most importantly, I hope I'm able to keep up with this blog and not dump it like the one I did before. (Keeping my fingers crossed)
So, to whoever that's gonna read my humble writings on this free blog space of mine, I hope you won't yawn or complain. LOL. I welcome all criticism, all sarcasm, all comments, and all praises. Honestly, I hope you'll enjoy reading and seeing another part of the world, through my eyes, my blog. :) Peace.
*Don't click 'X' yet.*
till fingers meet keyboard,
audrey.
XOXO
*u may click 'X' button now. Thank u*
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